This Side of Living
by December
Summary: Suddenly, he woke up, and nothing seemed right. Surrounded with known strangers, it was like living on the other side of his dreams. COMPLETE
1. Back in the Living

It was the afternoon of a gorgeous summer day, but to  
  
the three people standing in the room off of the Intensive  
  
Care Unit, it felt more like the dark of winter. Over the  
  
past month many a meeting had happened between these three  
  
people. Sometimes there were more people involved in the  
  
meeting, sometimes less. Regardless, since that awful  
  
accident almost thirty days ago, these three had often  
  
been in conversation.  
  
The doctor in the room had limited this conversation to   
  
the two people standing in front of him because he knew it  
  
would be delicate. Legally, he could not make the decisions  
  
that needed to made with out the consent of the two people in  
  
front of him, who were the parents of his patient; however,  
  
if he had included the patient's three siblings, he would have   
  
had to include the patient's living grandparents as well. That  
  
would be at least an extra six people in the room...and that   
  
was before dealing with the requests of aunts, uncles, and   
  
close family friends to be included.  
  
Normally, he would be moved and motivated by the obvious  
  
loving family of this patient; but, in this special case at  
  
least, the family got in the way of him doing his job. That  
  
just gave the doctor a headache.  
  
"It's been almost twenty seven days and there still has not  
  
been any change since the accident. You may," here the doctor  
  
paused, knowing the awful alternative he was about to deliver.  
  
"You may want to consider removing the life support."  
  
"No!" the mother immediately shouted. "That's my son in   
  
there! I won't give up on him. Not yet! He'll pull through,"  
  
she insisted.  
  
"Mrs. Ikeda-" the doctor began.  
  
"That's Dr. Washington-Ikeda to you," the woman immediately   
  
corrected the middle-aged specialist.  
  
The doctor sighed mentally for about the fortieth time that  
  
week. It wasn't that Dr. Washington-Ikeda wasn't a nice woman  
  
or a good person. Normally, she was. In fact, she was more   
  
gracious and generous to the hospital staff than most mothers   
  
in her situation. But she was a lioness when she fought for  
  
her children, and she would use every advantage at her disposal  
  
to get the best for them, including using the title that her  
  
PhD in Political Science afforded her. For his part, her husband  
  
was a patient and strong man, but also a man who would do whatever  
  
he could to protect and keep his family happy. Not a nice combination  
  
in situations such as these.  
  
"Dr. Washington-Ikeda, Mr. Ikeda," the doctor tried again, "it is   
  
likely that he won't survive the week. But, even if for some reason  
  
he does, his brain was oxygen-deprived for an extended period of  
  
time. He'll probably have amnesia or suffer from delusions or any  
  
number of mental defects. There is no telling if he'll even be able  
  
to speak or walk. That is a huge burden to take on-"  
  
"But I'm not giving up on my son! Are you suggesting we kill  
  
him now on the off chance that he survives and is handicapped?!"  
  
the mother's voice broke slightly, but she tried to continue.   
  
"What kind of sick-" was all she managed to get out before she  
  
choked on her tears and buried her head in her husband's shoulder.  
  
The father eyes had narrowed at the doctor's speech as well.   
  
"That is my son," he said in a quiet, measured and angry voice.  
  
"We will do whatever we have to keep him healthy and happy,   
  
especially if God gives him back to us. Don't presume to tell  
  
us to give up now."  
  
"But your other children-" the doctor began.  
  
Only to be cut off by the man, "Are not spares. They love   
  
their brother, too. This family isn't throwing in the towel, not yet.  
  
You're stuck with us for a little longer."  
  
The doctor nodded as he closed his patient's folder. To be   
  
honest, he didn't like it. The young man was pretty much a lost   
  
cause when he came through the door. But his parents insisted,   
  
so there was nothing that could be done.  
  
As the doctor quietly left the room as Mr. Ikeda tried to comfort  
  
his wife, he thought that if, by some miracle, the young man did  
  
pull through, Andrew Yusuke Ikeda was one amazingly lucky young  
  
man to have a family like his.  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Chapter 1 - Back in the Living  
  
Some people come back to conscious quickly, or at least,   
  
More of their senses come back immediately. This young man,  
  
unfortunately, wasn't that lucky; his process was gradual As he   
  
became aware of the world outside of himself, the first thing he  
  
felt was immense pain. The kind of pain that made being thrown   
  
around by Toguro seem like a paper cut it comparison. What   
  
had happened?  
  
After the pain, the ability to hear returned. But that   
  
managed to confuse him more. There were clearly other people   
  
or other things around him. If he strained a little he could just hear  
  
the conversation around him.  
  
"You've been here all day. Take a little break. I'll sit here  
  
awhile," he heard Koemna say.  
  
That the toddler was around was strange, especially since   
  
it sounded as if he was in his teenage form, with an even deeper   
  
voice. But what was stranger was who replied to ruler of the Spirit   
  
World.  
  
"Alright. You win. I'll go down to the cafeteria and get   
  
something to eat," said the voice of a female who sounded like the first  
  
referee of the Dark Tournament. What was her name? Kota? And, more  
  
importantly, why was she watching him and why did Koemna tell her   
  
to take a break? Something really wasn't right here.  
  
He heard rustling as if someone was getting up. "Are you   
  
sure he'll be okay while I'm gone?" the woman asked again.  
  
"Yes. I promise to send a nurse to find you if something   
  
happens." Koemna confirmed.   
  
"Okay," the female voice came one more time before he heard heels   
  
click on the floor, moving further and further away from him.  
  
That odd conversation was definitely motivation for the sleeping  
  
young man to do something. Luckily, at that moment, the ability to   
  
move was regained, so he was able to move his hand slightly and  
  
begin to open his eyes. Although he wished to move more, the pain  
  
shortchanged his movements.  
  
Those movements were enough however to get the attention   
  
of the man next to the bed. Lying flat on his back, he heard the frantic   
  
movements of the other person in the room, but he couldn't clearly   
  
see them yet. The bright lights and his eyes didn't seem to be too   
  
happy with each other.   
  
As he blinked, he heard Koemna say, "Andrew? Andrew, are   
  
you awake?"  
  
While his brain tried to wrap itself around a very strange name,  
  
his eyes finally began to focus. The person leaning over the bed  
  
appearing to be very concerned about him was indeed Koemna, but a  
  
much older looking one. This man looked to be at least 30 years older  
  
than Koemna's teenage form. He also looked stressed, his brown hair  
  
in total disarray and streaked with gray. Although he had often  
  
made nasty comments about Koemna's appearance in the past, seeing a   
  
clearly older Koemna was extremely disconcerting.  
  
His silent stare seemed to upset this old Koemna greatly. As he  
  
heard fast moving feet in the distance, Koemna asked again, "Andrew?  
  
Drew, can you understand me? Can you speak at all?"  
  
Finally, after all this time, the ability to speak finally returned.   
  
Slowing forcing the words out of a dry throat and around a tube, the   
  
young man in the hospital bed began to croak out, "Who-?"  
  
He didn't get much further. At that moment, while Koemna   
  
seemed to be thanking something called 'God' under his breath, a   
  
clatter of heels was heard and that Dark Tournament announcer's   
  
voice was heard again, "Andrew? Mitsuru, is something happening   
  
to Andrew?"  
  
Straining to see from his bed, all he could make out was   
  
one female, who seemed to be surrounded by a sea of white. She  
  
was a startlingly a darker hue that he expected, but he couldn't see   
  
anything clearly that was more than five feet anyway. If anything,  
  
the little he could see bothered him greatly.  
  
Fixing his most intense stare (he hoped) on Koenma, he forced out  
  
again, "Who...is...Andrew?" in a whispered tone.  
  
The older Koemna blinked down at him. "Um...you are," he   
  
said quietly.  
  
At that point the seventeen year old's brain went crazy. Inside   
  
his head, he was shouting, "WHAT?! HAS PACIFER-BREATH   
  
REALLY LOST IT?! I'M WHO?!! WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT  
  
KIND OF CRAP IS HE TRYING TO PULL? WHERE THE HELL   
  
AM I AND WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!"  
  
All the young man managed to croak out before fading back into  
  
unconsciousness was,"What the hell is this?"  
  
-to be continued - 


	2. Livinig Flat on Your Back

The nurses always thought that the day it happened would  
  
be such a happy day. Out of all of the patients that  
  
rolled in and out of ICU, Andrew Ikeda, or AYI, as he  
  
was called, was their favorite. This was for a variety  
  
of reasons. First, his family was amazing. They all   
  
clearly cared about him AND still managed to be nice to  
  
the nurses. In fact, when the new nurse on the wing   
  
had to work through her birthday to deal with complications  
  
related to AYI, the family threw her a party the next day.  
  
That still blew Gretchen's mind.  
  
Second, (and there was no denying this) AYI was HOT! Black  
  
hair that fell in his face, a well-defined body, a few well  
  
placed scars...he looked like the original bad boy. Unfortunately,  
  
as he hadn't opened his eyes in the twenty-seven days he'd   
  
been in the hospital, no one was sure what color his eyes were.  
  
Did he have his mother's soulful brown eyes or his younger  
  
brother's piering green ones? There were several bets around  
  
the hospital on his eye color.  
  
But, the real pull toward AYI was the story behind what   
  
got him in the hospital in the first place. No one talked about the  
  
accident, but it was a doozy. His life-story was a Lifetime  
  
movie in the making, if he would just wake up.  
  
No one really wanted to think about what would happen if the  
  
young man never woke up.  
  
But the day he did was not the dream for which everyone  
  
had hoped. In fact, it was more of a nightmare, especially for her.  
  
Gretchen had been late to her shift that day. Her sister had called  
  
and rambled on, rather selfishly, about pointless stuff in her life.  
  
While Gretchen tried to talk and get ready at the same time, she  
  
managed to stub her toe, pour hot coffee down her front, and scrape  
  
her leg. Three outfit changes and one pointless phone conversation  
  
later, Gretchen walked onto the floor to an argument between Alia  
  
and Bahavani, the newest nurse. It appeared that Bahavani's mother  
  
had taken a turn for the worse and she had put her up in a rival  
  
hospital. Alia, in part because of her work with the administration,  
  
was screaming at Bahavani for that choice. But that was just the   
  
beginning.  
  
It was that day that Doctor Blake decided to suggest that the   
  
family remove AYI from life support. That, of course, did not  
  
go over well with the parents. Alexandria Washington-Ikeda was  
  
near hysterics scant minutes after the interview. Mitsuru Ikeda  
  
was extremely cold in his own right. Whatever Dr. Blake had said,  
  
it wasn't good. Which wasn't surprising. The doctor could be  
  
amazingly insensitive and seemed to take issue with having to help  
  
the boy in the hospital bed.  
  
So, before noon, Gretchen had a mini-war between the nurses on the  
  
floor and distraught and agitated parents. Although she would never  
  
admit it if asked, she prayed that AYI would stay asleep one more   
  
day, if only to allow everyone to calm down. When she saw the frantic  
  
call signal from his room at one that afternoon, she knew she wasn't  
  
going to like the answer that she got to her prayer.  
  
As with all the other nurses on the floor, she rushed to the door of   
  
the room, noticing that Alexandria was in their midst as well. She  
  
heard the women cry out to her son and her husband, her fear evident.  
  
It may have been better if her husband had answered her right away,  
  
but he had turned back to the bed to hear something that AYI had  
  
whispered. The look of confusion on his face as he answered was the  
  
last straw for Dr. Washington-Ikeda. She pushed throw the nursing staff  
  
in the room until she reached her husband's side.  
  
Gretchen sighed as she looked over all the confusion. Damn, she  
  
needed a vacation. NOW!  
  
"Okay everyone. This confusion helps no one. Let's all calm down  
  
and check on the viability of our patient."  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living Flat on Your Back - Chapter 2  
  
If the young man thought he was confused before, the commotion in   
  
the room now made his first moments of awareness seem almost crystal  
  
clear. He didn't understand why he was in a hospital. He didn't  
  
understand why Koemna was calling him Andrew. He didn't know who  
  
that strange dark woman with Kota's voice was. And that not knowing  
  
was pissing him off.  
  
"Mitsuru," the dark woman insisted of Koemna when she got   
  
close to him, "what is it? What's wrong with him?"  
  
The older Koemna sighed and ran his hand through his hair.   
  
"Maybe Blake was right."  
  
That obviously wasn't the right answer for the female who   
  
Asked the question as her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" she   
  
demanded.  
  
"He doesn't know who Andrew is. That's what I mean." Older   
  
Koemna sighed again. "At best, he's got amnesia. I'd rather not think about  
  
the 'at worst'. Not just yet."  
  
"No," the woman whispered in denial, although her voice didn't stay  
  
quiet for long. "No! I don't believe it. He does not have amnesia.  
  
My Andrew Yusuke Ikeda hasn't forgotten who he is! He hasn't!"  
  
At that point, it seemed that the woman with Kota's voice started  
  
to cry, but he really couldn't tell as he was surrounded by  
  
nurses, who started to poke him and look at the various machines in   
  
the room. He wanted to object, to complain. He wanted to scream  
  
at someone to remove the damn tube in the back of his throat. Yet  
  
he couldn't seem to force the words out.  
  
As he laid in the bed, surrounded by nursing and objecting to   
  
their actions in his head, he saw one of the nurses go over to the   
  
Koemna/Kota couple. He was able to see her nametag for a split second,   
  
and, although it was clearly not his native Japanese, he could read the  
  
name Gretchen on it. This Gretchen blocked his view of Koemna and the  
  
hysterical woman with him, but he could still hear the three of them  
  
in conversation.  
  
"Dr. Washington-Ikeda, Mr Ikeda. I realize that you are both   
  
upset,but we promise to do what we can for Andrew."   
  
"What is wrong with him? He can barely speak!" Koemna   
  
asked, obviously not happy with the what was happening.  
  
"Mr. Ikeda, until we can get some readings done, we won't  
  
know-"  
  
But whatever Gretchen was going to say was interrupted when   
  
Kota's voice objected, "Oh hell no!" as she pushed Gretchen aside.   
  
The young man could see the agitated dark toned woman again,   
  
but her gaze was not focused on him but on someone on the other side  
  
of his bed. Following her gaze, he saw her looking at a nurse   
  
who was fumbling dangerously with a needle. He suddenly became  
  
very nervous.  
  
"Who the hell is that?!" the woman with Kota's voice shouted as  
  
she pointed to the nurse with the needle. "She's incompetent!  
  
There is no way she's sticking anything into my son."  
  
'I'm not sure who her son is,' the young man thought, 'but I   
  
agree with her on this. I don't want her sticking me with  
  
anything, either.' Apparently, luck was on his side, as another  
  
nurse took her place. It was amazing that all of that happened   
  
over the woman's ranting. Whoever she was, she was barely   
  
holding it together.  
  
Just to make everything more surreal, at that moment raised   
  
voices could be heard from the hallway. "He's my brother. You cannot   
  
keep me out of that room," the voice asserted before footsteps   
  
were heard.  
  
'Sayko?' the young man in the bed thought in surprise. 'It can't be!  
  
He died when he blew up the stadium.' But, a few seconds later,  
  
his eyes cooperated with him enough for him to see Sayko standing in   
  
the doorway of his room. It was definitely Sayko, right down to the  
  
scar over his right eye. Now he was really confused.  
  
The older Koemna also seemed to recognize him. "Samuel!   
  
Thank God. Here," he said as he pushed ranting women into Sayko's   
  
arms. "Take your mother into a waiting room and calm her down.   
  
She's on the verge of collapse."  
  
"What?!" the woman objected. "I'm not leaving. I'm not.   
  
That's my son!"   
  
It seemed that no one was listening to her as Sayko gently   
  
Dragged her out of the room as she shouted, "If anything happens   
  
to my son, anything at all, I swear I'll sue. I'll sue this hospital into   
  
the ground. Don't you kill. Don't you dare-" Whatever else she  
  
shouted disappeared in her sobs.  
  
Koemna sighed as he turned to Gretchen. "You'll let us know,   
  
as soon as you know anything. Anything at all," he ordered.   
  
The surprised woman just nodded.  
  
As Koemna began to leave the room, the young man   
  
managed to call out to him, "Wait!" in a depressingly weak voice.  
  
Koemna managed to hear the cry and turn around. Seeing   
  
the young man reach out to him from the bed seemed to affect the ruler of  
  
Spirit World in a strange way. As he began to tear up he said,  
  
"We'll help you. I promise. We will be there to help you in   
  
any way you need. I'll be back. Just rest and let these ladies  
  
look after you." After a pause, Koemna quietly said, "I love you."  
  
Then he turned on his heel and left the room.  
  
So as the young man lay there, in a constant state of confusion   
  
and pain, he wasn't sure what to think. And he also wasn't sure  
  
why the sight of those strange people comforted him in some strange  
  
way, as if, somewhere deep inside, he knew who they were.  
  
Why did nothing seem to fit right?  
  
- to be continued - 


	3. Living in a Hospital

A doctor's office, even one at a hospital, was supposed   
  
to be a safe place, a sanctuary of sorts. It is in this space that  
  
doctors can finally grab a few minutes of peace and quiet   
  
minutes to think. Something that all doctor's need.  
  
Unfortunately, Doctor Allen Blake was denied that   
  
when an irate mother burst into his office shouting, "What is   
  
wrong with my son?!"  
  
When asked later, Dr. Blake would only admit that   
  
the interruption shocked him. It was usually the job of the   
  
secretary to keep patients or their families from bursting into   
  
a doctor's office. But, as he had managed to anger Millie,   
  
his secretary, several times that week, it didn't surprise him   
  
that Dr. Washington-Ikeda had gotten through.  
  
The doctor sighed. He really did not like dealing   
  
with family members. He avoided it whenever possible.   
  
But the Ikeda family wouldn't leave him alone. He sighed  
  
again. The benefit of desperate families was that they would   
  
let you try almost any remedy you suggested; the drawback was   
  
that they never let you alone. The Ikedas excelled in both   
  
areas, led by two matriarchs and a patriarch, no less. At least  
  
the grandmother didn't scream at him as much as the mother did.  
  
The younger matriarch was still in his office and still breathing  
  
fire. Knowing that he wouldn't get anywhere until he addressed her  
  
concerns, he faced the woman. "What do you mean, Dr. Washington-Ikeda?"  
  
The younger matriarch practically growled at him. "What do I  
  
mean? I mean, besides the fact that my son could barely speak  
  
when he woke up-"  
  
"He's awake?" the doctor asked, surprised. Was Millie not letting important messages through? How angry was his secretary, actually?  
  
Dr. Washington-Ikeda, luckily, continued ranting as if the doctor  
  
hadn't spoken, "He doesn't know who he is! I'm not sure he knew  
  
who any of us were!"  
  
"Dr. Washington-Ikeda, I did warn you that-"  
  
"Oh, don't give me that 'lack of oxygen to the brain,' crap again! Just do your damn job and find out what the hell is wrong with my  
  
son!"  
  
The doctor rose, but not because of Dr. Washington-Ikeda's   
  
orders. Although, if the woman thought that was the reason  
  
he was standing, he wasn't about to disabuse her of that   
  
notion. He needed to check out his patient. Surviving that  
  
accident was nothing short of a miracle. If all continued to  
  
go well, he could get a publication out of this. To think,  
  
in taking on a case he didn't want, he might find his fame after  
  
all. "It's about time I go to check on my patient," the doctor  
  
said as he left the room.  
  
"Yeah! See that you do!" he heard Dr. Washington-Ikeda shout  
  
as he walked down the hall.  
  
This Side of Livinig  
  
Livinig in a Hospital - chapter three  
  
After all of that poking, prodding and general confusion, his room had finally gotten quiet. The last nurse had left, threatening  
  
that the doctor would come see him soon. As his last encounter  
  
with a "doctor" was not a very good one, that parting comment left  
  
him more nervous than not. At least his pain was lessening somewhat.  
  
As he lay there in the bed, he tried to begin to figure out what was going on. He could almost hear the old hag in his head, telling  
  
him not to do something stupid until he understood what he was  
  
up against. He also remembered his answer to her the last time  
  
she brought up her concerns.  
  
'Well, 'Don't get caught' won't help me much in this situation. I guess it wouldn't hurt to review what I know. It's not like I can  
  
kick any ass in this shape anyway,' he thought to himself as he   
  
took a deep breath.  
  
Unfortunately, going over what he did know didn't help much. He  
  
was in a hospital, practically immobile and in a lot of pain.  
  
No one had mentioned why he was in the hospital or how he ended  
  
up in the shape he was in. An older looking Koemna had appeared  
  
and had been watching over him when he woke up. Oddly enough,  
  
the toddler had called him "Andrew" and not by his name or by  
  
his title of Spirit Detective.  
  
'Come to think of it,' the young man mused to himself, 'No one  
  
called him Koemna. The strange lady with fox girl's voice called  
  
him Mitsuru. The nurse Gretchen called him Mr. Ikeda.' The young  
  
man shook his head in confusion. 'But that was definitely Koemna's  
  
voice that came out of him. What the hell does that mean?!'  
  
Abandoning that frustrating line of thought for awhile, he thought back to the last thing Koemna told him: "We'll help you. I promise. We will be there to help you in any way you need. I'll be back. Just rest and let these ladies look after you....I love you."  
  
'Well, that's strange. Why would Koenma tell me that he loves me? Shit. I really could use Kurama right now. Although he can be annoyingly vague, he would understand what the hell was happening about  
  
now.'  
  
The young man probably would have chased around other thoughts until he was dizzy if he hadn't heard footsteps and two voices in the hallway. Voices that he actually recognized.  
  
"Thank you so much for letting me see him," the female voice said.  
  
"Of course we'd let you see him. You're practically family anyway. And you've been such a good influence on him. You are probably  
  
the only reason that boy is going to finish high school," the  
  
male voice replied.  
  
"You and Alexandria-san both must be so happy that he's awake."   
  
"We're relieved that he can talk...and frightened about how he's  
  
doing now. It's the reason Xandria is probably screaming at the  
  
doctor right now," the male sighed. "She's worried about her little  
  
boy. And there's not much I can do to help her."  
  
At this point the two people had entered the room. The young man   
  
Heard a small breath hitch from the female before she quietly said, "I'm  
  
sorry. I'm still not used to seeing him hooked up to so many  
  
machines or looking so banged up. It's still...it's still a little hard."  
  
"It's hard for me, too," the male agreed.  
  
As the two visitors approached the bed, the young man forced his   
  
eyes open. "Kei-ko?" he asked as a familiar female face came into  
  
view.  
  
"Well, he remembers something at least," the older Koemna said as he came to stand behind Keiko as she sat in the chair next to the  
  
bed.   
  
Keiko, for her part, didn't say anything at first, as her hand  
  
was still over her mouth. Her eyes had begun to water, and a lone  
  
tear was slowly moving down her cheek.  
  
"Don't cry, Keiko," the young man managed to get out. "I thought  
  
I told you I didn't want to see you cry again."  
  
The young woman nodded and sniffed a few times. Then, after giving him a tremulous smile, she said, "Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"You gave us quite a scare. We were all so worried." The earnestness in the familiar face only seemed to underline that truth for the young man in the hospital bed.  
  
"Sorry," the young man shrugged and then winced because of the pain. After a few beats, he asked, "What exactly happened to me?"  
  
"You were in...an accident," Keiko said quietly. "After which you were rushed to the hospital." After a few minutes pause, she  
  
asked, "Do you remember anything?"  
  
The young man shook his head slowly, "Nothing related to being in  
  
an accident anyway."  
  
"Well, that's a relief," the older Koemna said. "I saw the scene. I'm not sure I'd want you to be walking around with memories of   
  
that, Drew. It looked like the stuff of nightmares."  
  
There was that name again. It bothered him. What bothered him  
  
even more is that Keiko didn't seem to be bothered by the name.  
  
"Who is Drew?" the young man asked again.  
  
At his question, Koemna and Keiko turned to look at each other, both looking very concerned. "Well?" the young man asked again, his  
  
frustration showing.  
  
"Um...you are, Andrew," Keiko said quietly. "At least, we think  
  
you are," she added. "What do you think your name is?"  
  
Koemna snorted, "That's a roundabout way of asking him to divulge  
  
how much brain-damage he actually has." Yet, even in that sarcastic  
  
statement, the older man seemed very worried.  
  
Keiko ignored him and asked again, "What is your name?"  
  
Still thrown off guard that Keiko knew him but didn't know him, he said, "My name is Yusuke. Yusuke Urameshi."  
  
At the young man's answer, a clearly frustrated Koemna walked   
  
to the end of the bed, running a hand through his hair. "Do I give him   
  
partial credit for getting it half right?" he seemed to ask the air.  
  
Keiko gripped his arm and looked into his eyes at his answer. "Do you remember anything, anything at all besides that name?"  
  
Yusuke nodded.  
  
"Then tell us," she ordered, "tell us everything you remember, starting with your clearest memory."  
  
"What good will that do?" Yusuke.  
  
"Just humor us," the older Koemna said. "What do you remember?"  
  
At that Yusuke sighed. He knew that Keiko now knew a lot about his "job" but she still didn't know everything. He wasn't sure how   
  
safe it was to spill everything now, but, he really didn't think  
  
he had a choice. Until he talked to someone, there was no way he  
  
was going to be able to figure this out on his own.   
  
Deciding that the best thing to do was to share, Yusuke opened  
  
his mouth and started talking. "I guess, my clearest memory is  
  
of the day I died. It was like any normal school day, I guess...."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Koemna and Keiko both were staring at him  
  
as he finished. "The last clear memory I have is of Kurama preparing  
  
to face Gamemaster. The next thing I know, I'm floating in a sea  
  
of pain and hearing Koemna call me Andrew." Looking at the faces  
  
of the two people in the room, he said in a half-laugh, "I'm guessing  
  
that things are a little different here."  
  
"Just a little," Koemna agreed in that tone that always used to  
  
aggravate Yusuke. Before Yusuke could get too annoyed, however,  
  
the older Koemna sighed. "I guess I should be getting back to the  
  
waiting room. Samuel's still there and Xandria's probably finished  
  
screaming at the doctor by now. Betty's on her way in and   
  
Hasukawa will probably be there soon, too."  
  
"And your parents," Keiko added as she looked at Koemna. "They  
  
are probably coming as soon as they finish for the day. And  
  
what about your sister?"  
  
Koemna sighed. "By now, Samuel's probably called her with the   
  
good news, so she's probably on a bender. Jana's stuck too; the  
  
case isn't anywhere near being over. Regardless, the rest of  
  
us need to...talk." Koemna turned to look at Yusuke, "I promise,  
  
we'll do everything in our power to help you."  
  
At Yusuke's nervous look, Keiko squeezed his hands. "You trust  
  
me, right?" At Yusuke's nod, she continued, "Then everything   
  
will be alright. Now, get some rest. We'll see you tomorrow."  
  
At that Keiko stood up. But, before she left, she leaned over  
  
and kissed his forehead. "It's a good thing you woke up when you  
  
did," she said, her eyes tearing up again. "Because, if you had  
  
died, I would have killed you."  
  
Yusuke smiled at that. "Yeah." As Keiko began to walk toward the  
  
door, Yusuke said, "I promise not to put you through this again."  
  
"See that you don't," was her answer as she left.  
  
Before following behind her, Koemna looked back at him one more time. His eyes showed relief, sadness, and concern. Without saying anything else, he walked out of the room, leaving Yusuke with more questions than he had answers. But, at least it was all out there, and,  
  
maybe, people could begin to help him figure out what the hell was  
  
going on.  
  
- to be continued - 


	4. Living with Two Minds

It was the largest number of people a psychiatrist   
  
had ever seen in one office at one time, but this extended   
  
family needed to be seen all at once. However, even   
  
free therapy for a year wouldn't be able to address all   
  
of the problems in the room. While he was, of course,   
  
most concerned with the mental rehabilitation of his   
  
patient, he still was at least somewhat distracted by the   
  
obvious problems of others.  
  
For example, the younger matriarch of the family, Sally  
  
Alexandria Montpellier Washington-Ikeda, was about to crack. This  
  
week had added tons of stress on the poor woman. A full time  
  
professor herself, she was probably devastated to have a child  
  
in a coma for almost a month after nearly losing her youngest  
  
to another accident less than two months ago. Since her son had  
  
awakened, she had to balance her job, her other children,  
  
and healthcare expenses with looking out for her hospitalized  
  
son. The shouting matches she had had with hospital staff were  
  
near legendary, and her tireless work to find her son the best  
  
physical therapists was common knowledge. And all that stress  
  
was laid on her as base; the effect of Andrew's dream and  
  
her (lack of) place in it was icing on the cake.  
  
Of course, then there was Betty Usagi Ikeda, the   
  
daughter. As a freshman in college, she was already under   
  
a lot of stress, especially considering that her boyfriend was   
  
still a junior in high school, and, therefore, not able to visit   
  
as much as she would like. She was attending a well-respected   
  
institution some distance away, struggling to adjust to college  
  
like most other freshmen. According to her mother, Betty also   
  
had the distinction of having the roommate from hell, who was   
  
a lush and a slob. To nearly lose two of her brothers before   
  
the fall semester was over was a lot of carry around on her shoulders.  
  
Then there was the older matriarch, Mio Sakura Ikeda,   
  
known as "Genkai" or "Grandma" to her family. There was clearly   
  
tension between the older matriarch and the younger; if he had to   
  
guess, the doctor would put the tension down to the mixed marriage   
  
of Mitsuru and Alexandria. He was pretty sure that the tall, brassy,   
  
opinionated African-American female was not what Japanese-American   
  
Genkai would consider the perfect daughter-in-law, Alexandria's kindness   
  
and Mitsuru's besotted-ness notwithstanding. His guess was that the   
  
in-law relationship had been particularly nasty at points, but that  
  
Genkai wanted to build bridges. Yet, with Genkai's and Alexandria's  
  
personalities and Alexandria's wariness of her mother-in-law, the  
  
relationship hadn't been able to change. On top of this, it was  
  
obvious that Andrew was her favorite grandchild, even though she  
  
often referred to him as "dimwit". So, the older matriarch was  
  
in a lot of internal turmoil. She was worried about her grandson  
  
and wanting to reach out to the obviously hurting Alexandria, but  
  
powerless to help one and unsure about how to reach out to the other.  
  
Those three were only the tip of the iceberg, and all of this was  
  
clearly weighing on Mitsuru Ikeda, who had, for some unexplainable  
  
reason considering that his father was still alive, set himself up as   
  
family patriarch. Watching his family fall apart and his son not   
  
recognize his own life was pulling hard on the father.  
  
What worried the psychiatrist, beside the fact that few of the  
  
people in his office would actually get the treatment they needed,  
  
was that what he was going to suggest would make things a lot   
  
worse for a few people in the room.  
  
Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing for the resistance   
  
ahead, he began, "As you know, I had a talk with Andrew earlier  
  
this week, at your request. Throughout the interview, he insisted  
  
that I call him Yusuke, and, for the most part, he refused to  
  
cooperate, insisting that he wasn't crazy."  
  
Genkai snorted, "Good for him. The dimwit has more sense   
  
than I gave him credit for."  
  
"I disagree," Lafayette Jefferson Washington, Alexandria's   
  
mother,chimed in. "I think those are just the Jefferson/Washington   
  
genes coming through. He is my eldest's son after all. I mean I pushed  
  
myself through a depression with no professional help and Alexandria,  
  
throughout all the problems with her father's illness when she was  
  
younger, only went to a therapists for three months, if fact.  
  
Jeffersons and Washingtons don't do 'help'; it seems to be against  
  
our nature."  
  
At this banter, the doctor mentally groaned. Between the older  
  
matriarch's opinion of therapy and the way the younger matriarch  
  
had treated therapy in the past, no one in that room was ever  
  
going to get the help they needed. In fact, the doctor was  
  
willing to bet, if 'Yusuke' wasn't so bad off, the family would  
  
probably have just gotten him some Prozac and gone on about their  
  
business.   
  
But he had to remember that this was about his patient, and that  
  
through helping his patient he could help the entire room.  
  
The doctor cleared his throat so that everyone could re-focus  
  
their attention on him. "As I was saying, I was able to get  
  
Yusuke to explain this 'other life' of his to me. Based on what  
  
he said and from his medical records, I believe what he experienced  
  
was a dream-"  
  
"Figures my brother would get his head stuck in La-La land" Betty  
  
muttered under her breath.  
  
"But I believe this dream did two good things for him. First,  
  
it allowed him to work through and fight immense pain in a  
  
logical way that kept him occupied. All the medical doctors  
  
agree that if he had awoken earlier, the massive pain that was  
  
racking his body would have sent him into cardiac arrest and   
  
killed him."  
  
That bombshell quieted the room. While everyone was   
  
understandably upset, the realization that they almost lost the   
  
young man still hung heavily on their hearts.  
  
"Second," the doctor continued, "I believe the dream   
  
allowed him to work out some emotional problems."  
  
"What the hell are you implying?" Alexandria practically   
  
growled from her position next to her husband.  
  
"What I'm saying is that your Andrew was dealing with a lot   
  
mentally as well at the time of the accident. So much so,  
  
in fact, that he needed a mental vacation. However, he still  
  
wanted to work through a lot of his mental issues, so, I   
  
believe he incorporated them into this dream world in various   
  
ways. For that reason," the doctor looked around at everyone  
  
in the room, "I don't think we should disabuse him of his   
  
dreamworld quite yet."  
  
"WHAT?!" the entire room shouted.  
  
"Are you CRAZY?!" Alexandria and Betty said in unison  
  
as they surged to their feet.  
  
The doctor held up his hand. "I'm not saying that we tell him  
  
that world is real. I am saying that you cannot force upon him  
  
his life as Andrew yet. I believe that will come to him on his  
  
own. What you should do is the following. One: Address him as  
  
Yusuke-"  
  
Alexandria made a noise at this. Belatedly, the doctor   
  
remembered that naming him Andrew had been her idea; giving   
  
him the middle name of Yusuke had been his paternal grandmother's   
  
idea.  
  
"Two," the doctor continued, "You may only discuss his life as   
  
Andrew in response to direct questions he poses to you."  
  
"Um, I thought the whole point was to help him not be crazy,"  
  
Hasukawa observed from his position next to his older sister.  
  
"All this seems to do is to give him license to be crazy," the  
  
youngest child added under his breath.  
  
"And three," the doctor concluded, knowing that this would go   
  
over the least well, "You must refer to yourselves and allow  
  
him to treat you as he did in his dream world, until and unless  
  
he begins to treat you otherwise."  
  
At that, the room exploded.  
  
"Oh, no way!" Betty objected. "I'm his older sister! I'm not  
  
going to allow him to order me around or ignore me like some  
  
sidekick!" She pushed some of her obviously dyed light blue  
  
hair out of her face. "He's enough of a prick to me as it is!"  
  
"Look," Alexandria began to shout, "I'm just a voice in my  
  
son's little crazy dreamland. A voice of a demon no less.   
  
How the hell do I relate to my son with that distinction? Are  
  
you telling me that I can't see my son?!"  
  
"Related to that, what to you suggest I do?" the powerful  
  
businessman who was paying his fee, Samuel Mitsuru Ikeda,  
  
weighed in. "In Andrew's little mind game, I was an extremely  
  
shady businessman who died by blowing up himself and an entire  
  
stadium. By the time he awoke from his vacation, I was already  
  
dead. Does that mean I'm barred from visiting my little  
  
brother?"  
  
"It is even more complex than that for some of us," Betty's  
  
boyfriend began. Along with a few other non-family members,  
  
the young man was included because he was deemed an important  
  
part of Andrew's life. "When Andrew first related the story  
  
to Keiko and his father, and later you, he threw around a lot  
  
of names. As we don't have descriptions to go with the names,  
  
we don't really know who all these people are. We have no idea  
  
if we figure in the dream or if we are helping or hurting   
  
by staying away."  
  
The doctor sighed, "I'm not saying if you don't have a leading  
  
role in this dream that you must ignore him. You can certainly  
  
visit with him when he's asleep-"  
  
"Well, shit," Alexandria muttered under her breath.  
  
"And, if you don't know who you are in his 'dreamland,'   
  
you are allowed to visit him to see if he recognizes you.  
  
Just be prepared to react accordingly once you discover you  
  
were."  
  
"Great," the patient's best friend said as he stared out   
  
of the window next to him. "I am having my relationship  
  
with my best friend dictated to me by some quack."  
  
"I realize this will be hard on some of you," the doctor  
  
conceded, "but it is the best thing for Andrew. I believe  
  
his memories of Andrew will come back with time and that  
  
those will blend with the insights he gained from this  
  
dream. But, until they do, he needs this mental space to  
  
recover as much as he needs his physical therapy."  
  
The meeting broke up soon after that. As the doctor was  
  
gathering up his materials, he did notice the two matriarchs  
  
over in the corner. Later, he would deny ever listening  
  
to their conversation, but at that moment, he wanted to know  
  
what Alexandria was saying to her mother-in-law while she  
  
bowed to her.  
  
"Ikeda-san," Alexandria said in a subdued and quiet tone,  
  
"I have a favor to ask."  
  
"And what would that be?" Genkai asked. The question may  
  
have sounded harsh if you couldn't see the older woman's  
  
features...which the bowing woman couldn't.  
  
"I know you care a lot about Andrew. And I know he had a much  
  
clearer connection to you in his dream. And I realize that,  
  
next to Mitsuru's older sister Ayame, you were the only adult  
  
to feature prominently in his dream. I-" the younger woman's   
  
voice caught for a second, but she continued, "I would like  
  
you to look out for my son where I cannot. Apparently in this  
  
dream world he assigned me to the sidelines, and, as I refuse  
  
to let Ayame and her substance abuse problems anywhere near my  
  
son, that leaves you. Please, look after my Drew for me."  
  
"Of course," the woman agreed quietly. "I'll try to keep the  
  
dimwit out of trouble."  
  
"Thank you, Ikeda-san."  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living with Two Minds -chapter four  
  
They called it physical therapy, but he called it hell. Whoever  
  
hired those two sadistic medical professionals really had it in  
  
for him. After every session, he ended up feeling wiped out.  
  
Who knew for how long he'd been out this time.  
  
As Yusuke opened his eyes, he was in his private room in the  
  
hospital. Apparently money talked or this 'Andrew' person  
  
knew someone, because this room looked more like a hotel than  
  
any hospital room he had seen before.  
  
"Ah! Welcome back. It appeared that your physical therapy   
  
knocked you out again. I hope it was a productive session, at   
  
least."  
  
"Kurama?" Yusuke asked as he turned to look at the person  
  
from who the voice came.  
  
The young man sitting next to the bed smiled at Yusuke. His  
  
hair was the right color to be Kurama, but it was two short.  
  
And the eyes were the wrong color. And he was wearing a strange   
  
uniform with a hat on his lap.  
  
The young man with Kurama's voice didn't seem to mind the   
  
inspection that Yusuke gave him. "I expect you are thirsty,"  
  
he said. "Would you like some water?"  
  
At Yusuke's nod, the young man began to pour him a glass   
  
of water. As Yusuke took the offered cup, he asked, "You're name   
  
isn't really Kurama, is it?"  
  
"No," the young man agreed. "It's Kevin. But you can call me  
  
whatever you are most comfortable with. I can answer to both."  
  
"Why are you in my room today? Not to sound ungrateful," Yusuke  
  
added. "You aren't among Andrew's legion of siblings, are you?"  
  
"No," Kurama laughed. "But calling the Ikeda family a legion may  
  
be a slight exaggeration." Kurama-Kevin smiled. "I'm here because  
  
Andrew's sister, I believe you call her Botan, needed a break. She  
  
is extremely stress about her upcoming Econ test and she looked  
  
like she was at her wits end. I sent her down to the cafeteria  
  
to get a cup of tea and take a mental break. As Hamilton, Keiko, and  
  
Hasukawa are still in school and as Samuel, your father and your  
  
grandparents are still at work, that left me. Alexandria-san  
  
had to teach today, as well. Though, lately, she looks as bad  
  
as your sister. I probably would have requested that she take a   
  
break as well, had she been here."  
  
Looking over to see Yusuke's confused look, Kurama   
  
apologized. "I'm sorry. It is still a little difficult for me to remember  
  
how you remember all of those people. I hope I wasn't unduly  
  
confusing?"  
  
"No, it's okay," Yusuke agreed. 'I couldn't get any   
  
more confused, anyway,' he thought to himself. It was strange.   
  
Part of him envied this Andrew while a small part of him felt like he   
  
understood things this Andrew would understand. He wasn't   
  
quite sure if he believed everyone when they said he was this   
  
Andrew guy, but lately he had been having flashes where this   
  
life seemed less strange. It was a lot to rap his head around.  
  
"How exactly does Andrew know you?" Yusuke felt compelled to   
  
ask.  
  
"Well," Kurama began, "the short answer is that we met when we  
  
were both freshmen and became friends after a fashion. The longer,  
  
more complicated answer is that I'm dating Andrew's sister."  
  
Yusuke blinked at this. Kurama and Botan was not a couple   
  
he had ever envisioned in his head...but Kevin and Andrew's sister   
  
Betty weren't Kurama and Botan. Even if Betty did have the same   
  
voice, same personality, and same colored hair. Apparently, at some  
  
point, Andrew's sister had decided that she wanted light blue hair,   
  
so she'd bleached the brown out of her hair and then dyed it blue.   
  
It had been like that for years now, according to Keiko anyway.  
  
Kurama quietly cleared his throat. "Yusuke," he began, "if  
  
you don't mind, could you tell me a little more about Kurama.  
  
I wasn't able to hear about your adventures the first or the  
  
second time you shared them. Call it, my curiousity, I guess."  
  
The request was no longer seemed odd to him. Apparently some  
  
people were not changed at all in this reality or the last, Keiko   
  
being the most obvious example. Other people, it seemed,  
  
were either vastly different or missing. Yusuke shrugged. He  
  
figured that he owed it to Andrew's sister's boyfriend to explain  
  
who Kurama was.  
  
"I first met Kurama as part of my first case as Spirit Detective.  
  
Along with two other demons, he had stolen several priceless  
  
artifacts. It was my job to get them back and arrest those  
  
responsible."  
  
"A criminal and a demon. Well, that's interesting to say the  
  
least," Kurama commented.  
  
"No, no wait. It wasn't as bad as it sounds. Kurama was a good  
  
guy," Yusuke insisted. "He was fused with a human boy and he  
  
had stolen the artifact he had to save his human mother's life!  
  
After that whole incident, we kinda got to be friends."  
  
"Oh," the other young man said. "Well, what was his personality  
  
like?"  
  
"He was smart. A good fighter. Modest. Keiko would probably  
  
call him a gentleman," Yusuke snorted at that. "He was-"  
  
here Yusuke paused for a moment, "He was a good friend, with  
  
an affinity for plants...and an annoying tendency to be   
  
vague."  
  
"Hm, it's amazing how much seems to hold constant, doesn't it?"  
  
Kurama noted.  
  
"There goes that vagueness again," Yusuke groused. Looking   
  
back at the young man sitting next to him, Yusuke added.  
  
"It's weird. You sound so much like him, to the point where  
  
I can see him if I close my eyes. But you don't completely  
  
look like him. I think it's the hair."  
  
"My hair?" Kurama asked, puzzled.  
  
"Yeah, I remember your hair being past your shoulder and  
  
almost halfway down your back."  
  
The other young man shrugged. "As freeing as that sounds,  
  
I don't think I could get away with that at school. What  
  
with the military dress code."  
  
"You are in military school?!" Yusuke asked, surprised.  
  
"Yes, an all male Catholic military school. At this point,  
  
I'm actually an officer. The school is the brother school  
  
to your - excuse me, Andrew's - sister's alma mater, an  
  
all female Catholic high school. It partially explains  
  
how we met."  
  
"You are good student?"  
  
"Fairly," Kurama answered, "although I am at the top of   
  
my class at the moment."  
  
"That figures. Are you popular as well?"  
  
"In a sense, I suppose. It's a different world there.  
  
I'm not quite sure how I would measure my standings as  
  
opposed to my fellow students. I never really thought  
  
about it much."  
  
"Oh," Yusuke said. He would have said more, but he began  
  
to yawn.  
  
"Go back to sleep, Yusuke. There will be people who will  
  
want to visit with you later in the day and you need your  
  
rest."  
  
Yusuke nodded. "Thanks for hanging around today...Kevin."  
  
The young man in the military uniform smiled. "You're  
  
welcome.  
  
- To be Continued - 


	5. Living with Flashes

The four of them sat in the sitting room, playing Hearts. They  
  
had decided on playing Hearts, because the other card games  
  
they knew, Spades and Poker, were deemed to be too loud.  
  
With Yusuke sleeping in the attached hospital room and   
  
Alexandria passed out on a nearby couch, the four didn't want  
  
to disturb anyone.  
  
"This is so weird," Hasukawa said as he threw down a card.  
  
"I mean, in the entire family, I didn't Andrew would be the one  
  
to crack."  
  
"Drew is not crazy!" Betty said emphatically as she played.  
  
"He's just...just..."  
  
"Completely out of his mind," Hasukawa countered.  
  
Betty growled at him. "What?" Hasukawa asked, confused.  
  
"I just shared what I thought."  
  
"Idiot," Hamilton said as he played a card.  
  
"That's not very nice," Hasukawa muttered to himself.  
  
"Actually," Kevin chimed in, "I am beginning to agree   
  
with the doctor. With his analysis of the dream, anyway.  
  
Andrew isn't crazy. As this Yusuke he is just able to   
  
deal with a lot of things. Like how he's different  
  
and similar to the people in his life."  
  
"I can't believe we are letting our interactions with  
  
Drew be dictated by some quack," Hamilton shared again.  
  
"I actually agree with Spike boy, for once," Hasukawa  
  
added. "Although," he laughed, "it is funny to watch  
  
him annoy Betty."  
  
"Well, at least Drew didn't beat me up his dreams. I  
  
can't wait for him to get strong enough to deck you."  
  
"Hey!" Hasukawa objected.  
  
"Hamilton," Kevin said to the other young man at the  
  
table as brother and sister quietly argued with one   
  
another, "you are going to have to see him eventually.  
  
You can't put it off forever."  
  
"Hn," Hamilton said.  
  
"Yeah," Hasukawa chimed back in. "I mean, you are his  
  
best friend and all. The least you could do is spend  
  
some time with him."  
  
Hamilton glared at Hasukawa.  
  
"Go easy on him, Hasukawa. He's afraid." Kevin   
  
observed. "Drew has been his best friend for  
  
years. Understandably, he's a little worried about  
  
what happens if he doesn't feature prominently  
  
in the dream world. I don't think he could  
  
handle being consigned to the limbo Alexandria-san's  
  
in. And, if Drew can do that to his own mother,  
  
no one is safe."  
  
"Hn," Hamilton said again, clearly annoyed at being  
  
so well understood. Finally, he muttered, "It's   
  
your turn military boy. Play a damn card."  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living with Flashes - chapter five  
  
He was having them again. Weird mental trips. Some people  
  
might actually call them memories. He called them flashes.  
  
Usually they were brief. Like he'd hear Kota's voice call  
  
him Andrew and hear his own voice laugh in reply. Or he'd  
  
hear himself say something sarcastic and feel someone hit  
  
him upside the head. One he didn't hear anything, just  
  
saw a room full of darker toned people, he thought the  
  
correct term was African-Americans, laughing over a table  
  
of food as little children ran back and forth through the room.  
  
But this latest flash was different; it was clearer, more  
  
detailed, and more than a flash.  
  
He sat at a table in what looked to be a kitchen. The room  
  
was pretty big and was painted a cheery yellow. Botan   
  
stood by the window, looking out of it and then catching her  
  
reflection in the nearby toaster over and over again. In the  
  
chair next to him sat another young man. The other person looked  
  
a little like Hiei, expect his hair was much shorter...and he didn't  
  
have a third eye.  
  
"So, Drew, why did you want me to come over again?" the   
  
stranger asked in Hiei's voice.  
  
"Because I want you to meet Kevin," Yusuke heard himself reply.  
  
"I mean I think he's a great guy...minus the fact that he  
  
must be a glutton for punishment as he's dating Betty."  
  
"Ooooo!" Botan said as she stomped across the room and hit  
  
him upside the head. "You idiot! There is absolutely nothing  
  
wrong with Kevin, aside from the fact that he actually thinks  
  
you are a decent human being."  
  
"Ow!" Yusuke said as he rubbed the back of his head.  
  
"If this is going to turn into a brother-sister 'disagreement,'"  
  
Hiei began in a disinterested voice, "then I'm leaving."  
  
Yusuke snorted. "No, you won't, Hamilton. Besides the fact that  
  
I know you have nothing better to do today, you wouldn't  
  
leave your best friend to suffer the wrath of his hormonal  
  
sister alone."  
  
"How Keiko puts up with you, I have yet to understand,"  
  
Botan fumed.  
  
Hiei ignored Botan and returned his attention to Yusuke.  
  
"You actually think a lot of this guy?" he asked after   
  
a few moments of silence.  
  
"Honestly, yes, I do. Even though he's at that military  
  
school, he seems to actually be a decent sort...even if  
  
he is both way too vague and too perceptive for my comfort  
  
level." Yusuke shrugged. "I don't know; he's different.  
  
I...just wouldn't mind having to see him at family  
  
functions for a big chunk of my life."  
  
"Wow," Botan said quietly.  
  
"Hn," was all Hiei said, but he also appeared to take  
  
the strong character reference under advisement.  
  
Yusuke laughed, "I think I can even forgive his  
  
red hair."  
  
"Red hair?" Hamilton asked.  
  
At that point, a cough was heard from the other side of the  
  
room. Turning toward the far kitchen door, Yusuke saw  
  
the short-haired Kurama standing in the doorway. "Excuse  
  
me. I hope I not interrupting anything. Your mother  
  
mentioned that you were back here and she sent me on  
  
ahead."  
  
"Oh!" Botan exclaimed as she blushed. "Just give me five  
  
minutes," she said as she moved to rush out the other   
  
kitchen door. "And you," she said as she hit Yusuke again,  
  
"be good. That goes for you too, Hamilton." And, with  
  
that, she raced out of the room.  
  
"Well, I see there are benefits to appearing ten minutes  
  
early at your request, Andrew," Kurama commented as he  
  
neared the table. "Betty is ready about twenty minutes in  
  
advance."  
  
Yusuke laughed. "Have a seat, Kevin." After the young  
  
man had sat down, Yusuke said, "I asked you to come  
  
early because I wanted to meet Hamilton." Gesturing over  
  
to Hamilton, he continued, "I figured the two of you would  
  
get along or something."   
  
Kurama threw Yusuke a look with a raised eyebrow, but then  
  
returned his attention to Hamilton. "It is nice to meet  
  
you, Hamilton."  
  
"Hn," was all Hamilton said.  
  
Yusuke felt his mouth open, but Kurama was the one who  
  
spoke. "I understand," he said. "I don't automatically  
  
get approval. There has to be a trial run, so to speak."  
  
The redhead shrugged. "That's only fair. It is probably  
  
a good thing. Drew accepted me rather readily. I'm not  
  
sure that's always a good thing." Noticing the surprised  
  
look on Hiei's face, Kurama added "I take it that instant  
  
acceptance is not normal?"  
  
Hiei snorted. "Not in anyone except Alexandria-san,  
  
anyway."  
  
Kurama nodded. "Point taken."  
  
"I'm ready," Botan said as she breezed back into the   
  
room.  
  
"Of course," Kurama said as he rose from his seat.  
  
"Shall we go?" he asked as he offered Botan.  
  
She beamed. "Yes, we shall."  
  
As the couple walked toward the door, Yusuke shouted,  
  
"Kev, as much as I think you are a good guy, cool it  
  
on the gentleman stuff. Keiko will start expecting it  
  
out of me soon."  
  
Botan had snorted at that and looked over her   
  
shoulder at him, "No, she won't. She's with you after   
  
all."  
  
He was pretty sure he would have objected to that statement,  
  
but awareness of the world outside his head began to  
  
filter back in. He sighed. These flashes did unnerve  
  
him a bit, but he wasn't sure to whom he could talk about  
  
them.  
  
As he began more and more aware of his surroundings,  
  
he realized that he was being watched. He tightened his  
  
fists, but immediately felt pain. 'Damn physical   
  
therapy,' he thought.   
  
"Look," he said loudly as he looked around the room,  
  
"whoever you are, I know you are out there. Come out  
  
into the open and state your business before I kick your  
  
ass."  
  
A snort was heard from his far left, "Ikeda, you couldn't   
  
kick anyone's ass in the shape you are in and you know  
  
it." Before that sentence could die in the air, a young  
  
man looking a lot like a certain demon stepped into Yusuke's  
  
line of vision.   
  
"Hiei?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Hn," was all the young man replied as he sat down in the  
  
chair next to the bed.  
  
Oddly enough, seeing the demon that obviously wasn't a demon  
  
in this reality was comforting. And it was comforting on  
  
several levels. Reflecting on the flash he had earlier today,  
  
Yusuke turned to his anti-social companion and asked, "So,  
  
who are you to Andrew?" Yusuke asked quietly.  
  
That seemed to be the wrong question, as the young man got  
  
up in a huff. "Everyone else made be prepared to pander   
  
to this stupid dream of yours, but I will not."  
  
"Okay," Yusuke said quietly.  
  
"I'm not anything to some person you can refer to in the  
  
third person. I'm someone to you. And I won't tread lightly  
  
because some quack doctor tells me to," the young man groused.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Look, I'm your-" the young man paused, "best friend. And  
  
I will continue to be until you get your head straight."  
  
This made Yusuke laugh.  
  
Hiei's eyes narrowed. "What is so funny?"  
  
Through his laughter, Yusuke got out, "It just fits. It  
  
explains so much. And the fact that your attitude hasn't  
  
changed either. God, it makes sense." Yusuke smiled.  
  
"You gave me a kick in the ass then too."  
  
"Hn," Hiei said as he returned to the chair. After a few  
  
beats, he said, "So, I take it that I was a part of that  
  
little dream team in your head?"   
  
Yusuke smiled. Although the young man asked in an off-hand  
  
way, it was clear that the answer was important. "Oh yeah,"  
  
Yusuke confirmed. "You saved my life a time or two as well."  
  
"Hn," was the reply  
  
After a few second of quiet knock could be heard before a  
  
voice entered the room, "Good afternoon, Yusuke. I hope   
  
I'm not interrupting anything."  
  
Yusuke smiled at the person standing in the doorway. "No.   
  
Come in...Kevin."  
  
The redheaded young man smiled as he entered the room. As  
  
he walked toward the bed toward the bed, he noticed the other  
  
occupant in the room. "Well, Hamilton. I see you finally  
  
made it. Did you find the answers you were looking for?"  
  
The young man in the chair nodded, saying only "Hiei."  
  
Yusuke groaned from your bed, "Really, guys, I'm going  
  
to start charging both of you for being vague."  
  
"But Yusuke, it's probably the only way to get you to listen  
  
to us," Kevin observed.  
  
"Oh, ha ha, fox boy," Yusuke said.  
  
After a few more minutes of general talking, Yusuke took  
  
a deep breath before asking, "I realize that this is going  
  
to sound strange, but...um," Yusuke looked over at the  
  
Hiei look-a-like. "Do you have a sister? A half-sister  
  
who doesn't know she is your sister?"  
  
At his question, the other two boys looked at each other.  
  
"I'm not answering that," Hiei said.  
  
"Look, Andrew knew before," Kevin said quietly. "If I   
  
remember correctly, he was probably the first person you  
  
told." At Hiei's dirty look, Kevin continued, "I really  
  
see no harm in telling him again. Besides, he must have  
  
had a reason for asking."  
  
The Hiei look-a-like just snorted.  
  
Kevin smiled, "I'll take that as permission to share."  
  
He turned to Yusuke, "To answer your question, yes.  
  
Hamilton, I take it you call him Hiei, does have  
  
have a half-sister. One that doesn't know about him  
  
due to...family issues." Kevin smiled slightly, "Her  
  
name is Yolanda. She's a very nice girl,"  
  
"Hn," Hiei grunted in agreement.  
  
"To make things more complicated, she's also dating  
  
Andrew's younger brother...who doesn't know she's   
  
related to Hamilton."  
  
"And I'd like to keep it that way," Hamilton insisted.  
  
"Fine, fine," Yusuke agreed as he smiled.  
  
As the young man looked at the two other people in the  
  
room, he thought to himself, 'I still don't understand  
  
what is going on, but moments like this. I don't mind  
  
not understanding what is going on.'  
  
- to be continued - 


	6. Living in a Private Room

It was another late night, but Alexandria couldn't sleep.  
  
As her son was asleep in the attached private room, this  
  
was one of the few moments she knew she could spend with him.  
  
But, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to walk   
  
into the room.  
  
She looked at the table in the sitting room, covered with  
  
the papers she was trying to grade. She sighed. Somehow  
  
student analysis of the 2000 election, even when the comments  
  
were ridiculously wrong with heinous grammar, just weren't  
  
grabbing her interest. It probably didn't help that when  
  
Andrew was well, he used to enjoy her reading him the worst  
  
of the worst from her student's paper. A few times she  
  
had to stop herself from thinking, "Andrew would laugh out  
  
loud at this."  
  
For all intents and purposes, while she still had four children,  
  
she didn't have her Andrew anymore.  
  
Hearing a light knock at her door, she turned. "Oh, hey  
  
Samantha."  
  
"Hey, Alex. How are you holding up?" the young woman asked  
  
as she entered the room, pushing her brown hair back over   
  
her shoulder.  
  
Alexandria smiled at the woman. She had liked Samantha since  
  
Samuel had first brought her home to 'meet the family'. She  
  
and Samantha had actually become good friends, not something   
  
that she had expected from someone twenty-eight years her  
  
junior. In fact, they became such good friends that they   
  
stayed in contact even after Samuel dumped her.  
  
It was one of the few times Alexandria really wanted to   
  
beat some sense into one of her children. Literally.  
  
"I have all the medical bill information here," Samantha  
  
said. "It looks like you could have a nasty fight with  
  
your insurance company. Especially due to the nature of   
  
the accident."  
  
Alexandria sighed as she looked at her friend and family  
  
CPA. "I know. Part of me thinks that I should just make  
  
Samuel pay for everything."  
  
Samantha snorted, "He ought too! Drew's his brother, and  
  
it's not like he has a family of his own."  
  
"And on that, amazingly, the two of you agree," Alexandria  
  
conceded. "But, it's the principle of the thing, you know?  
  
I mean, it's for unplanned crap like this that I pay for   
  
insurance in the first place."  
  
"Yeah," Samantha said as she sat on the floor next to  
  
Alexandria. Noticing the quiet music in the room for the   
  
first time, the younger woman asked, "What are you listening  
  
to?"  
  
"Tori Amos. Her Under the Pink CD."  
  
"And the indie queen strikes again," Samantha laughed   
  
quietly. "I guess this means that you are handling this  
  
better than I thought. No Emm Gryner."  
  
Alexandria looked at her friend with a wry look on her  
  
face. "Actually, I'm handling it worse than you think.  
  
I overplayed 'Acid' about a week ago. I've moved from  
  
sad and depressed to angry and depressed. The next  
  
stage is just depressed."  
  
Samantha smiled sadly, "And I take it that would be  
  
Andrew Spice?"  
  
"'Christopher' on constant repeat," Alexandria agreed.  
  
After a few minutes of silence, Samantha looked her   
  
friend in the eyes. "Alex, it's just a stage, you  
  
know. You read the stuff of racial identity development.  
  
It's just those crazy teenage years." She squeezed  
  
her friend's hand, "It will be okay."  
  
"Do you know why I picked Tori to listen to?" Alexandria  
  
asked.  
  
"No."  
  
The older woman smiled, although it didn't reach her  
  
eyes. "It's this song, called 'Pretty Good Year.' To  
  
borrow a line from Roberta Flack, it's like she 'found  
  
my letters and read each one out loud.' Or, at least,  
  
she read my mind."  
  
"What to do mean?" Samantha  
  
"I mean listen to the lyrics. 'They say you are   
  
something in your formative year. So hold onto   
  
nothing, as fast as you can. Well, still, pretty  
  
good year.' Can you honestly say that people haven't  
  
uttered that to me so many times in the past two  
  
weeks? Can you honestly say that I haven't said  
  
similar stuff to myself?" A few tears ran down  
  
Alexandria's face as her voice faded away at the  
  
end.  
  
After wiping the tears away, she said. "But I  
  
can't complain. Sure, my son doesn't acknowledge  
  
me as a part of his life, doesn't remember the  
  
name I gave him and doesn't remember me. And sure,  
  
his head doctor has decreed that I can only visit  
  
with him when he's asleep. But I still have all  
  
four of my children. After three months and two  
  
amazingly awful accidents, I still have all four  
  
of my children."  
  
Samantha slowly nodded, getting her point. "Huh.  
  
Pretty good year," she said quietly, realizing  
  
the irony.  
  
Alexandria nodded in return. "Pretty good."  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living in a Private Room - chapter six  
  
When he came back to awareness, it was after nightfall.  
  
He wondered what time it was. With his mental flashes,  
  
physical therapy from hell, and lots of visits from  
  
strangers he remembered, he couldn't keep track of   
  
the days or the hours. Because it was so quiet,  
  
his guess was that it was sometime after visiting hours.  
  
He could vaguely hear music coming out of the  
  
sitting room. It sounded like a piano was playing.  
  
As at least one member of the family was in the sitting  
  
room at any given time, the music didn't alarm him.  
  
He was, however, curious as to who was in there.  
  
As he slowly shifted in his bed, he heard a familiar  
  
voice come from the chair next to him, "You're awake.  
  
Good. I thought you might sleep through everything,  
  
dimwit."  
  
"Grandma?" Yusuke asked as he turned to face an  
  
older woman who looked and sounded exactly like  
  
Genkai.  
  
The woman smiled gently. "How are you feeling?"  
  
she asked quietly.  
  
"Better," he responded, just as quietly. "Those  
  
torture sessions everyday are making me a little   
  
stronger at least. I can make it from one  
  
side of the room to the other on my own two  
  
feet before passing out. I found that out  
  
the hard way," he felt the need to add.  
  
"Good," the old woman said in rather pleasant  
  
voice. The voice was so pleasant that Yusuke  
  
was totally shocked when she stood up and hit  
  
him upside the head, saying, "Now get your  
  
head together so this family can move on   
  
with its life."  
  
"Ow!" Yusuke objected. "Genkai, you crazy  
  
old hag, what the hell was that for?"  
  
The older woman's eyes narrowed, but she  
  
answered, "It was for you and your stupid  
  
self-indulgence!"  
  
"Self-indulgence! What-"  
  
"You've been hiding from everything in that stupid  
  
little dream world of yours, making everyone jump  
  
through hoops and go through hell, while you don't  
  
have to be engaged in anything. Everything that  
  
isn't pleasant can happen to 'Andrew' and not  
  
you. Well, it's time this stopped. It's stressing  
  
out your family and destroying your mother!"  
  
At that moment, Yusuke was completely confused.   
  
"Look, it seems to me that everyone is handling  
  
everything pretty well-"  
  
"Because they don't want to fall apart in front   
  
of you, dimwit!" the old lady exclaimed. "Look,  
  
your mother has been through hell over the last  
  
year, most of it being your fault! She's about  
  
to fall apart at the seems, and that's killing  
  
your father. The least you can do is get  
  
off your sorry ass, stop hiding in your  
  
dream world, and deal with your issues head-on!  
  
Damnit, you're an Ikeda! Start acting like one!"  
  
Yusuke had rarely seen the old woman in such  
  
a snit about anything. That alone made him  
  
uneasy. What added to his unease was the  
  
confusion he still felt, deep down. Confusion  
  
in an area of his spirit that he had begun  
  
to refer as 'the Andrew translator' in his  
  
head. The part of him that understood Andrew's  
  
world was confused as well, but for a different  
  
reason.  
  
It was that confusion that prompted the young  
  
man to ask, "When did you start caring about   
  
Andrew's mother, anyway?"  
  
There was an awful silence after that question.  
  
Then, Genkai began to quietly answer, "I   
  
could probably tell you that I'm worried  
  
about Alexandria's state of mind because it   
  
affects my son's state of mind, and you'd believe  
  
that. But I told you a long time ago, I   
  
wouldn't lie to you, so I won't start now.  
  
"The reason I'm worried about your mother  
  
is because I realize the ways that I'd added  
  
to her burden over the years. When she began  
  
to see Mitsuru I wasn't...happy about it.   
  
Middle-aged people can make some stupid  
  
mistakes as well, and me not seeing the  
  
good in Alexandria behind her skin color  
  
well that was mind. Fourteen years and  
  
four grandchildren later, I had begun to  
  
see that I was wrong. No one saw more  
  
clearly or better understood the struggles  
  
and joys in front of this family than  
  
Alexandria.  
  
"Unfortunately," Genkai sighed as she  
  
continued, "Alexandria understood the least  
  
the emotional pull all of this would have on   
  
the family. Especially when one of her own  
  
children picked up some of my prejudice and  
  
began to deny her."  
  
The older woman seemed to look older for  
  
a moment as she continued. "I wouldn't   
  
have wished this last year on my worst  
  
enemy; I am especially saddened that it  
  
happened to a daughter-in-law that I  
  
treated badly because of my own prejudice."  
  
"So," the old woman finished, "it is because   
  
of all of that, that I want you to get  
  
over it and begin to be there for your mother  
  
for a change. Just to let her back into  
  
your life for a little while." After a  
  
few minutes, she added, "It would mean  
  
that I could stop worry about both of  
  
you for awhile...dimwit."  
  
Yusuke looked at the old lady that was   
  
one of the best teachers he'd ever had,  
  
surprised. In all that he had learned from  
  
her, he never expected to learn from her  
  
mistakes. In any reality. "I'll try.  
  
I can't promise. I really don't understand  
  
everything that is happening in my head.  
  
But I'll put everything into that I have."  
  
'I'll try to bring my walls down without  
  
someone almost dying this time,' he added  
  
in his head.  
  
- to be continued - 


	7. Living with Nightmares

It was late on a Tuesday night. His eldest was at the  
  
house, holding down the fort and looking after his  
  
youngest. His daughter was back on campus, under the  
  
care of her resident assistant. And his other son  
  
was asleep in the hospital bed...with Alexandria  
  
sitting next to him.  
  
Alexandria hadn't had to teach that day, so she'd   
  
been in the hospital room or attached sitting room  
  
all day long. At the moment, Mitsuru really wanted  
  
to bring her into the sitting room to get some sleep,  
  
but, as he knew this was one of the few moments that  
  
she could spent with her son, he refused to make her  
  
give that up.  
  
He was really beginning to worry about her.  
  
His Xandria was an amazing woman, but she often  
  
took entirely too much on herself and just left  
  
him to watch.   
  
He knew she was near her breaking point when he stopped  
  
by earlier that afternoon. He had stuck his head in  
  
the sitting room door and was just about to say hello  
  
when he heard her softly singing another Tori Amos   
  
song.  
  
With tears running down her face, his dear wife was   
  
practically whispering the lyrics, "Time. Thought I'd  
  
make friends with time. Though we'd be flying. Maybe  
  
not this time. Baker, Baker. Baking a cake. Make me  
  
a day. Make me whole again. And I wonder if he's ok.  
  
If you see him say hi." Her voice broke on the word hi.  
  
After that she began to sob silently.  
  
It broke Mitsuru's heart.  
  
At that point, he turned around and left the hospital.  
  
He went to a florist and got a dozen of her favorite  
  
flower and then when to the bakery to get her favorite  
  
specialty cake. He came back and bestowed both gifts  
  
on his wife. She smiled at him with a watery smile  
  
and said thank you.  
  
And his heart broke again.  
  
He hated feeling powerless. And he had felt powerless so  
  
many times this year. Powerless to help Hasukawa after the  
  
first accident. Powerless to help Andrew after the second  
  
accident. Powerless to save Xandria from her own grief.  
  
'God, I think it is about time you cut this family a break,'  
  
Mitsuru thought to himself.  
  
This of Living  
  
Living with Nightmares - chapter seven  
  
He was floating in a sea of pain again, emotional pain  
  
this time. At Genkai's request, he (apparently unconsciously)  
  
decided to take a mental journey into the area with which he had  
  
not been dealing. Now he wished he hadn't  
  
This flash was much like earlier ones, that is, no picture   
  
accompanied the flash; there was only sound. In fact, Yusuke  
  
got the impression that what he heard being shouted back  
  
and forth was actually a composite of several conversations.  
  
And, listening to the hateful words fly in the black   
  
nothingness, he was immensely grateful that they were no   
  
images. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to stand the looks  
  
that must have appeared on Alexandria Ikeda's face.  
  
The shouted comments going back and forth were hard enough  
  
to listen to.  
  
"Don't act like my hell surprises you," his voice had  
  
shouted. "It's because you I'm a nigger in the first   
  
place!"  
  
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare use that word. Don't  
  
EVER use that word in reference to yourself, your siblings,  
  
me, or anyone else in this family. Don't you EVER!"  
  
"Why did you have to be my mother!" he heard is voice   
  
scream in anguish. "I hate having to deal with this  
  
being black crap."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, but those are the breaks," came the  
  
unsympathetic reply. "I'm as much a part of you as your  
  
father. So all that 'black crap' is part of who you   
  
are. Deal with it!"  
  
Again, he heard himself sounding hateful and resentful,  
  
"I so wish my father had married a good Japanese girl  
  
like Grandma wanted."  
  
The respondent snorted, but, in this way of hearing,  
  
Yusuke could clearly hear the pain in the response.  
  
"That's all well and good, but, then, you wouldn't  
  
have existed."  
  
"He could have had children with this girl. Intelligent  
  
children who aren't confused about anything. They would  
  
have had a son."  
  
"Which still wouldn't have been you! You would not exist  
  
in that dream world of yours!"  
  
"Better to not exist than to exist as part of you."  
  
And it went on. At points, his voice sounded deceptively  
  
analytical and neutral as he tore at her. "Your sister is  
  
always saying how race isn't real; how race is what you  
  
believe yourself to be and convince others that you are.  
  
So, if I believe I'm Japanese-American and I convince others  
  
that I am, that means I'm no longer part black, doesn't it?"  
  
"You can't deny that part of you. You are my son."  
  
"Not by choice...and I could probably convince the world   
  
that we weren't related."  
  
As the voices rolled around in his head, the young man  
  
tossed and turned, muttering, "No. No. Stop. Make it  
  
stop." He felt the heat, the heat of anger and hatred  
  
closing all around him. All he wanted was relief and   
  
release.  
  
Out of nowhere, he felt a cool, wet cloth on his forehead.  
  
The abrupt change of temperature caused the flash to fade  
  
in the background. Slowly he became aware of the world  
  
outside of himself. He moaned as he shifted slightly.  
  
After making the sound, he felt someone lovingly stroke  
  
his head and ask quietly, "Are you in pain?"  
  
He knew the voice, of course. It had been one of  
  
the first voices he had heard when he first woke up  
  
to this reality. It was also the other voice in   
  
his most recent flash. "Yeah," Yusuke replied   
  
quietly as the emotional pain hit him anew at   
  
her voice.  
  
"I'll go get a nurse," the voice continued.  
  
"No," Yusuke objected as he began to slowly   
  
open his eyes. "No nurses."  
  
"Then, I'll call your father or your grandmother.  
  
They can sit with you for awhile," the woman began  
  
as she rose from the chair next to his bed.  
  
"No, wait," Yusuke objected. Catching her hand as  
  
she stood to move away from the bed, he pleaded,  
  
"Stay."  
  
At first the woman looked like she was going to leave  
  
anyway. Something in his face must have changed her  
  
mind, however, as she slowly came back to the chair  
  
and sat down. "Alright. I will stay, if you wish."  
  
The young man in the hospital bed sighed in relief.  
  
As they sat together in silence, he had a chance to  
  
study the woman. She was an arresting picture. Rich  
  
dark brown hair with red highlights framed her face,  
  
with the long bangs in the front falling in front of  
  
her glasses. Brown eyes looked out intently from  
  
behind those glasses; eyes filled with too many   
  
emotions to name.  
  
She had a young face, although stress lines were beginning  
  
to show. Yet they seemed to give her face character,  
  
much like the scattered streaks of gray did for her   
  
hair. She was wearing baggy sweatpants and a loose   
  
sweatshirt that bore the name of a university of which  
  
he had never heard. On her left hand, she wore a sedate  
  
amber and onyx ring paired with a matching gold and   
  
silver wedding band. On her right hand, she wore another  
  
smaller, delicate ring of gold. He couldn't see the  
  
design from where he was, but he could see that it  
  
held no stone. No other jewelry adorned her.   
  
The other thing that stood out about her were her soft  
  
hands. She hadn't let go of his hand since he reached  
  
out to stop her from leaving.   
  
He knew who she was. And he knew he had to talk to her.  
  
But he didn't know how, and his 'Andrew translator' was  
  
no help. Apparently, Andrew didn't know how to talk   
  
to this woman, either.  
  
"So," he said in the silence, "You were Andrew's mother?"  
  
"Yes," was her quiet reply. "Unfortunately for him, I was."  
  
"Unfortunately?" Yusuke asked in surprise. "You wish you  
  
weren't his mother?"  
  
"No," the woman replied in a calm voice, as if she were   
  
stating a fact, not making an emotional claim. After a   
  
few beats of silence, she sighed. "It's just that, like  
  
every parent - every good parent at least - I wanted my son  
  
to be happy. I wanted to provide him with everything he  
  
needed and as much of what he wanted as was possible.  
  
"It wasn't hard to do when Drew was younger," the woman  
  
laughed quietly. "When he was a baby, all he seemed  
  
to want was food. I used to joke that he had inherited  
  
my appetite.  
  
"As a toddler, he needed to show his independence. 'I  
  
can do it, Mommy!' was what I'd hear all the time. 'No  
  
help! I can do it!' It used to make me smile, even  
  
when it frustrated me.  
  
"As a kid, he needed to be active. Karate  
  
classes, Tai-chi classes. Boxing lessons. Anything to   
  
prove that he hadn't inherited my academic inclinations.  
  
Although, some nights he'd still sneak downstairs to   
  
watch 'Prime Minster's Questions' with me. And would  
  
ask me to read him parts of my students' papers from  
  
time to time.  
  
"At thirteen, however, what he wanted, what he seemed  
  
to need was my ethnicity and everything tied to it out  
  
of his life. Everything. Including me.  
  
"Oh, it didn't happen immediately," the woman continued,  
  
"but it happened. And I wasn't really prepared for it.  
  
As I only had one racial heritage to worry about growing  
  
up, I didn't know how people adjusted to having two, or  
  
even when 'mixed' children became race aware.  
  
"Growing up where I did, I was race aware my entire life.  
  
I just was. And all of my other children...well, I'm not  
  
sure how they deal with who they are, but they've all found  
  
some way of doing it. Everyone except Andrew. But then,  
  
no one was teased, brutalized, and attacked for his status  
  
as much as Andrew was. Maybe that-" the woman shrugged  
  
quietly as she stopped talking. "But that was more  
  
than you wanted to know."  
  
"Maybe," the young man began after a pause, "Maybe Andrew  
  
was just confused. And he didn't know how to deal with it.  
  
So he just stayed angry to avoid the pain. Stayed angry and   
  
cocky. I do that," the young man finally admitted. "It was a   
  
way of staying safe. Don't commit your all to something  
  
that might not be stable. Don't embrace all that you are   
  
if people will fight you to take away your identity,  
  
your resources, your life."  
  
"Maybe," the woman said quietly.  
  
"You are a lot better than my mother," Yusuke mused aloud.   
  
Ignoring the woman's gasp, he continued. "I mean, I knew  
  
on some level that she loved me. Dying the first time showed  
  
me that if nothing else. But she wasn't responsible. Half  
  
the time, I felt like the parent looking after her. She  
  
drank entirely too much and wasn't really there when I needed  
  
someone to depend on. I mean, I could be gone for long periods  
  
of time, telling her next to nothing, and she would go bar-  
  
hopping. Just go on with her life."  
  
"I think," the young man continued, "that Andrew is really  
  
lucky to have you. Besides the fact that you obviously  
  
give a damn about him, you are rather responsible. It's not  
  
like he has to take of you. And on some level, I'm sure Andrew  
  
knew that as well and was proud to be your son." As he   
  
looked over at the woman, she was crying quietly. "Ack!   
  
Don't cry! Look, I'm sorry if I spoke out of line or anything-"  
  
The woman shook her head, smiling slightly through her tears.  
  
"No, it's not that. It's just that I haven't been taking  
  
care of anyone lately. I've such been sitting around, staring  
  
into space-"  
  
"And making sure that I get the care I need, right?" Yusuke   
  
pointed out. "And as for staring into space, I hear that  
  
you've had a rough year. That makes you entitled, right?"  
  
After a flash of surprise flittered over her face, the woman  
  
nodded. "I guess it does at that."  
  
For a few minutes, neither spoke. Finally, the woman turned  
  
to look at the young man in the hospital bed. "Do you really  
  
believe that you aren't my Andrew?"  
  
"I don't know," Yusuke answered honestly. "I mean, I feel  
  
like Yusuke. I feel like I lived that life, however crazy   
  
it may sound to you. But," he added quietly, "deep down,  
  
a part of me understands this world, too. It recognizes  
  
people. It has insights that only someone who lived a life  
  
as Andrew would have. It's frustrating as hell!"  
  
The woman laughed at expression of frustration. But, after  
  
her brief laughter died away, the question was still in her   
  
eyes. And Yusuke still felt compelled to answer. "I'm not  
  
sure if I am your Andrew. I'm not sure what anything really  
  
means anymore. And I cannot pretend to be something I'm not.  
  
But," he began as he turned to look the woman in the eye, "  
  
I would, at least, like to be your friend. I don't know,"  
  
he shrugged, "maybe I'd get the chance to have a responsible  
  
mother in my life for awhile."  
  
The woman smiled sadly, "You mean, I may not get my Andrew,  
  
but I'd still have four children?"   
  
At that question, Yusuke was sure the woman would tell  
  
him where to stick his idea. Instead, she said quietly,  
  
"I think - I think I'd like that...Yusuke."  
  
The young man nodded as sleep began to catch up with him  
  
again. "So, what should I call you?" he asked as he began  
  
to sink back into a peaceful slumber.  
  
"You can call me Alexandria," was the last thing he heard her  
  
say.  
  
And the most surprising thing about the night was, that at   
  
that last moment, her voice didn't sound like Kota's voice.  
  
It sounded like her voice. Like Alexandria's voice.  
  
- to be continued - 


	8. Living as Part of a Set

"Finally," she said as she sat in her car and closed  
  
the door. "It's over."  
  
The 'it' in this case was the crazy trial for which she  
  
had just served as a juror. With the press was all over  
  
it, she had been sequestered for a month during the trial.  
  
Practically all contact with the outside world was forbidden.  
  
In fact, they couldn't even watch TV in their rooms; they  
  
were only allowed to watch movies released before August.  
  
Being shut off from the world would have been annoying   
  
enough under normal circumstances, but these weren't   
  
normal circumstances. Two weeks before she was called  
  
for jury duty her nephew was in an awful accident. It   
  
had placed him into a coma and had caused the whole family  
  
to worry. And she, besides worrying about her nephew,  
  
was extremely worried about her older sister.  
  
But, for some reason, the fact that your nephew was  
  
clinging on to life with the help of machines wasn't  
  
enough to get you out of jury. She wasn't even sure  
  
that her nephew's death would have gotten her out of  
  
her mandatory service. She could only thank God that  
  
she wasn't presented with the opportunity to find out.  
  
She had been allowed one call to family per week, so  
  
she knew that her nephew was awake and that her  
  
sister was a total wreck. But that was all she knew.  
  
No one seemed to be telling her the whole story. "You  
  
have to deal with the case in front of you," they all  
  
kept saying.  
  
But, finally, it was over. She had checked out of the  
  
hotel. Her car was packed...and she was on her way  
  
to the hospital. Her older sister needed her, whether  
  
she was ready to admit it or not. And, after everything  
  
her sister had done for her, Georgia Jana Washington felt  
  
it was time that she gave back.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she started her car. As the  
  
radio came on, she could hear Aretha Franklin belting  
  
out, "Though you don't call anymore, I sit and wait  
  
in vain. I guess I'll rap on your door, tap on your  
  
windowpane. I wanna tell you baby, the changes I've   
  
been going through, missing you. Listen you. Until  
  
you come back to me, that's what I'm gonna do."  
  
Jana laughed. "Rap on your Door, Tap on your   
  
Windowpane. Dria's favorite 'stalker song'. Well, hold  
  
on, sis. I'm coming and you can tell me all about  
  
the changes you've been going through."  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living as Part of a Set - chapter eight  
  
As he settled back into bed, with less help than he  
  
needed a week ago, he acknowledged that something  
  
was different. Physical therapy was still pure  
  
hell, but it seemed less...horrendous that day. He  
  
figured it was in part because of who was beside him.  
  
She looked less stressed today than she had in the  
  
brief glimpses he'd had in the past. She smiled  
  
a little more often, too...but there was still a  
  
touch of sadness there. She still obviously missed  
  
her Andrew, even though he put her through a lot,  
  
but she was content to have a friend-son in Yusuke.  
  
He shook his head. Their relationship after last  
  
night was so strange, there wasn't even a word from   
  
it.  
  
As she place a fluffed up pillow behind his head,   
  
he turned to look at her. "Thanks," he said   
  
sincerely.  
  
Alexandria smirked. "Forgiven me for hiring those  
  
sadistic torturers?" she asked, referring to his  
  
physical therapists.  
  
Yusuke snorted, "I just keep telling myself that   
  
when you hired them, you were planning on them  
  
torturing Andrew, not me."   
  
With anyone else he would never have uttered that  
  
sentence. Most of them still saw as 'Andrew' but   
  
were trying to help him through his 'Yusuke illusions'.  
  
After last night, however, he and Alexandria had  
  
reached some kind of agree. To her, he really was  
  
Yusuke, not Andrew. At least, not for the moment.   
  
It was as if she got something out of pretending  
  
that Andrew's issues weren't his issues. For that  
  
reason, he found that he could be honest with  
  
her...in ways that he couldn't with anyone else.  
  
His friends and siblings were, for the most part,  
  
too young to really deal with his issues. And the  
  
old lady had a ton of her own problems in this  
  
reality. So Alexandria was his safe haven and  
  
venting space.  
  
If this wasn't real, if this world was a trick of   
  
his mind, he'd miss Alexandria the most.  
  
"Actually," Alexandria said as she sat down, "When  
  
I hired the therapists, I was thinking of the insurance  
  
company, because they were expensive. And I was   
  
thinking about Keiko when I made sure none of the  
  
therapists were pretty and female. I wasn't thinking  
  
of Andrew at all. The torture sessions are just  
  
a fringe benefit that you get to have all to yourself,  
  
Yusuke." She laughed.  
  
Hearing her laughter made him smile.  
  
By now the rest of the family were probably beginning to  
  
hear that he was talking to Alexandria now. He wasn't  
  
sure how everyone was adjust to the news. On some level,  
  
he didn't care. It was just nice to take the burden off  
  
of someone else...and get cared for in return.  
  
She'd cancelled her class to go to the torture session  
  
with him that morning. He had woken up to her calling  
  
her department to let them know that she wasn't coming   
  
in. When he asked her why she did it, she claimed she  
  
wasn't prepared to teach that day. When he said he didn't  
  
want to cause her any trouble, she smiled and said her  
  
students were probably very happy not to have class anyway.  
  
He opened his mouth to make some comment, when there  
  
was a sound at the door, "Knock? Knock? May I come  
  
in?"  
  
He and Alexandria turned to look at the person in the   
  
doorway. He blinked as he recognized her. She looked  
  
the same as he had last seen her...minus the fish ears,  
  
tail, and revealing outfit. About the same shade as  
  
Alexandria, she walked confidently into the room.  
  
"It's finally over and they let me out," she said with  
  
a laugh. "I'm so glad to be out of there, that I'd   
  
go anywhere, even a hospital. But, Dria, what's with  
  
the security. I had to prove who I was at least five times  
  
before I got up here!"  
  
"Um, Gia-" Alexandria started to say.  
  
But Yusuke's puzzled question cut her off. "Juri?" he asked  
  
of the other African-American female in the room.  
  
"Well, huh," Juri said, "I guess there is something to  
  
the theory that people comas can hear you." She turned  
  
to Alexandria. "He must have heard me say that I had  
  
to leave him for jury duty and that the Commonwealth was  
  
dragging me from his side. Probably wasn't that hard  
  
to remember. Jana on a jury. Alliteration at its finest."  
  
"Gia-" Alexandria started again, but Juri ignored her.  
  
"How's my favorite nephew?" Juri asked as she ruffled  
  
his hair. After which, she suddenly plotted down on his  
  
bed.  
  
"OW!" Yusuke shouted as the movement of the bed jarred  
  
him.  
  
"Sorry," Juri said. Then she smacked him lightly on  
  
the leg. "But you deserve it," she insisted. "You  
  
had me all worried about you! I mean, by the time   
  
we got to jury deliberations, I was ready to vote with  
  
the majority just to get out of there to see you. I  
  
mean, I was ready to fry an innocent man or let loose  
  
some monster on society. I didn't care." The other  
  
woman paused. "I wasn't really proud of my attitude,  
  
Drew. Your Aunt Jana doesn't like to compromise on her  
  
ideals; just ask your mother," she confessed.  
  
"Gia, about Drew-" Alexandria began again. And again,  
  
she didn't get her sister's attention.  
  
"Aunt Jana?" Yusuke asked, "Is that who you were to   
  
Andrew?"  
  
"Who I was to Andrew? Drew, that doesn't-" Juri looked  
  
back and forth between Yusuke and Alexandria. "What  
  
haven't you told me, Dria?" she said as she looked at  
  
her Alexandria.  
  
"How much free time to you have, sis?"  
  
"I have no where to be, sister dear. The University gave  
  
me the semester off. Stopped the tenure clock even." Juri  
  
gave Alexandria a hard look, "So spill. Why is Drew  
  
speaking about himself in the third person? And why doesn't  
  
he know you I am?"  
  
Alexandria just shook her head. She half smiled at  
  
Yusuke and he half smiled back, knowing explaining   
  
everything to Drew's Aunt Jana was not going to be   
  
easy. Alexandria sighed. "If I only knew where to  
  
begin."  
  
The other woman's eyes narrowed. "Pick a place,"  
  
she demanded.  
  
- to be continued - 


	9. Living in Transit

"Sir?" she asked her boss, "What should I tell the  
  
supplier?"  
  
She didn't get an answer.  
  
She looked over at her boss for the last five years. They  
  
had met when they were both in college; she was a year   
  
behind him. She'd been in awe of him then, too. Samuel  
  
Ikeda always had the charisma of a powerhouse, even before  
  
he was one. In the eight years she had known him, she had   
  
never seen him lose focus like he had several times today.  
  
But then, to be fair, he hadn't had so many family problems  
  
either.  
  
And those family problems were pretty intense. She was   
  
there when the message about Hasukawa came in August. She  
  
was there when he got the phone call about Andrew in October.  
  
She'd been playing interference and errand girl for him since  
  
that accident as Samuel had spent a lot of time at the hospital,  
  
often throwing around his weight to make sure that Andrew  
  
received the best of everything.  
  
Yet, with no explanation, a little over a week after his  
  
youngest brother woke up, Samuel was back at work. He didn't  
  
talk about his sudden full-time return to the office, but  
  
it was obvious that whatever caused it hurt him rather deeply.  
  
He never said anything; his haunted eyes told their own story.  
  
So, all in all, Samuel's executive assistant and friend was  
  
a little worried. "Sir?" she asked again, in a louder voice.  
  
Samuel blinked a few times and seemed to come back to reality.  
  
"Yes, Barbara? What was the question?"  
  
"What should I tell the suppliers? About the problem with  
  
the shipment?"  
  
"Ah, the shipment," Samuel said as he exhaled. He was   
  
quiet for a few minutes. About the time she was preparing  
  
to ask again, he continued, "Tell the supplier that  
  
the half order that we currently have is being shipped to  
  
him today. And that we'll have the rest of the order to  
  
him by the end of the month."  
  
"By the end of the month?" Barbara asked, in shock. "But  
  
there is a shortage all over the country! It was a miracle  
  
we have the half order we do! How in the world-"  
  
"I'll take of it," Samuel assured her in that shady way  
  
that always managed to make her even more nervous. "If  
  
that's all, get me Mr. Weston on the phone."  
  
"Of course, sir," Barbara began. "But-" she attempted  
  
to continue before she stopped. She had worked with  
  
Samuel long enough to know that she could not directly  
  
ask him what was wrong. To find out what was wrong she  
  
would have to ask the right questions.  
  
"Yes, Barbara?"  
  
"I mean, how is Andrew doing?" Barbara asked.  
  
Samuel got really quiet. Barbara had just about given up  
  
on getting an answer when Samuel quietly shared, "He's  
  
getting stronger; physically at least. Those physical  
  
therapists that Mother hired have accomplished wonders.  
  
He also eating solid food on his own and he isn't nearly  
  
as weak as he was."  
  
"But?" Barbara prompted. It was clear from Samuel's   
  
specific answer that something else was wrong.  
  
He sighed. "But he's still...not doing as well as mentally.  
  
The entire family is concerned about it. Mother was the  
  
most concerned about it until Andrew began to talk to her  
  
again. They've decided-" Samuel paused for a moment before  
  
continuing. "They've decided to release him from the  
  
hospital."  
  
"But that's great news!" Barbara enthused. "Isn't it?"  
  
she asked as Samuel's face just got darker.  
  
Samuel ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.  
  
"No. At least I don't think so." He turned to face  
  
his assistant. "I mean, Andrew still isn't well...mentally  
  
at least. And, while he seems to have found some way in  
  
his damage head to accommodate most of the family, he  
  
should stay somewhere where he can be monitored by  
  
medical professionals! Mother and Aunt Jana may be  
  
called doctor, but PhDs in poly sci and sociology are   
  
not even remotely helpful!"   
  
Barbara watched as her boss turned to look out his   
  
window. "I just want my brother back."  
  
Realizing that this whole situation was a lot more  
  
complex than even Samuel's recent sharing revealed,  
  
Barbara began to work on helping him...without letting  
  
him know she was helping. All good executive assistants  
  
meddle for the benefit of their employers. It was part  
  
of the job description. "When are they releasing him?"  
  
she asked softly.  
  
"Tomorrow morning."  
  
She nodded. Already in her head she was rescheduling   
  
meetings and making things ready for the company head  
  
to be at the hospital in the morning. He wouldn't thank  
  
her for her efforts; he wouldn't even know about her   
  
efforts if she was good at her job, which, of course,  
  
she was. But Barbara knew, beyond a shadow of a  
  
doubt, that Samuel needed to be there when they sent  
  
his little brother home. "I'll get Mr. Westin on the  
  
phone," was all she said as she quietly left Samuel's   
  
office.  
  
This Side of Living  
  
Living in Transit - chapter nine  
  
His room hadn't been this nosy since he first woke up,  
  
but Yusuke didn't really mind. They were finally breaking  
  
him out of this place. Sure, his room was nice and all,  
  
but he really wanted out to this hospital.   
  
"It will be great to have you home," Botan said as she looked  
  
over at him.  
  
"Yeah," Kuwabara added, "Then maybe Betty will go back to   
  
school and stay there for the rest of the semester."  
  
"Hey!" Botan objected as she proceeded to smack Kuwabara  
  
on the arm. "I resent that! Besides, I'll be home in  
  
a week and a half for Thanksgiving anyway."  
  
"Children, children," Alexandria chastised, "can we get  
  
home before we try to win the 'dysfunctional family of  
  
the year award,' hm?"  
  
Alexandria's correction made Yusuke smile. It also helped  
  
to quell some of his inner nervousness. While he was very  
  
glad to leave the hospital, with the exception of Alexandria,  
  
everyone else thought he was a very sick Andrew. He wasn't   
  
sure if he could be this Andrew. He wasn't sure what other  
  
surprises that waited for him at Andrew's home. (He still  
  
hadn't gotten over the shock that Andrew's aunt Ayame was  
  
so much like his mother.) And, he wasn't sure how the family  
  
would treat him after he left. Alexandria, at least, wasn't  
  
pushing.  
  
Yusuke looked at the people around the bed, trying to   
  
crystallize in his mind what Andrew would call these people.  
  
At the head of his bed was Alexandria, Andrew's mother. Her  
  
other children called her a wide range of things, including  
  
Mother, Mom, Momma, and once he heard Betty call her Mommy.  
  
He had no idea what Andrew routinely called her. But, with   
  
Alexandria at least, he wasn't worried. She seemed perfectly  
  
happy with him calling her Alexandria.  
  
Next to Alexandria stood her husband Mitsuru, Andrew's father.  
  
Yusuke laughed to himself inside. He'd have to show Mitsuru  
  
a lot more respect than he showed Koemna. He definitely couldn't  
  
call him 'toddler'. His youngest son called him Dad. His   
  
daughter called him Daddy. Again, he wasn't sure what Andrew  
  
called him. Dad may be a safe bet...when he was ready to make  
  
that leap anyway.  
  
At the foot of his bed were Andrew's older sister and younger  
  
brother, Betty and Hasukawa. They were so like Botan and   
  
Kuwabara that it would be hard to remember to address them as  
  
anything but that. Some days he felt like he was just waiting  
  
for Botan to pull out her oar and hop on.  
  
As Andrew's immediate family clustered around the bed laughing  
  
with each other, Yusuke heard a movement at the door. He would  
  
have sat up more in the bed to see who was at the door, but  
  
Botan was already giving a clue of who was there.  
  
"Well, as I live and breathe," the blue haired girl said as  
  
she looked at the door. "It's the prodigal son."  
  
By this point, everyone else in the room had turned to the  
  
door, allowing Yusuke to catch a glimpse of who was at the   
  
door. 'Sakyo...no, wait, that's Andrew's brother, Samuel,'  
  
Yusuke thought to himself. That thought was not very   
  
reassuring, however. He still felt that the man in the  
  
doorway was a dangerous businessman.  
  
"I thought you weren't coming," Alexandria said. "Have  
  
you changed your mind?"  
  
"No, Mother, I haven't. People may call you doctor, but  
  
you really can't handle Andrew at home. He needs more  
  
help than you can provide."  
  
"If you felt that way, why did you come?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"Because Drew is my brother, too. Regardless of what is going  
  
on in that head of his," Sakyo said as he drew closer to   
  
the bed.  
  
Mitsuru opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a  
  
cheering "Good morning!"  
  
The family turned to see a nurse in the doorway. As the nurse  
  
walked into the room, he said, "It's a good day to let our  
  
favorite patient out, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it is," Mitsuru agreed.  
  
"Well, then, let's get right to it. There are a few things that  
  
we have to get done before we can let miracle boy go. First,  
  
one of you will have to get the final report from the doctors  
  
and the care information from the nurses-"  
  
"I'll do that," Alexandria volunteered. "I have a lot of   
  
apologies I need to give out, too."  
  
"Xandria," Mitsuru began.  
  
"No, it's okay," Alexandria said as she ruffled Yusuke's  
  
hair. "Besides, I'm the one who is going to be hiring  
  
the in home nurse, right? I should go."   
  
With that, Alexandria left the room to go track down the doctors.  
  
"Well, next, we'll need someone to get your car and pull it around so that it will be there when we wheel this young man out."  
  
"Oh, that is so me," Botan shouted as she grabbed the van  
  
keys from her startled father and took off out of the room.  
  
"Hey, wait!" Kuwabara shouted as he ran after her, "I want to  
  
drive."  
  
"I hope my van survives those two," Mitsuru muttered under his  
  
breath.  
  
"Finally, I need some to talk to the psychiatrist once more   
  
before we can release him."  
  
"I'll do that," Mitsuru said.  
  
"Did you want to wait for your wife, Mr. Ikeda?" the nurse asked.  
  
Mitsuru laughed, "No way. Xandria took a lot of things that  
  
he told us rather hard. She is just beginning to recover from  
  
everything; I'm not about to let her have a relapse. I'll talk  
  
to the head doctor alone."  
  
After the nurse gave him directions to where the head doctor   
  
was waiting, Mitsuru left the room. This left Yusuke in   
  
the room with an overly happy male nurse named Jerry and   
  
Andrew's shady older brother.  
  
"You can stay with him until we can get a wheelchair up here.  
  
You can take him downstairs after the wheelchair gets here.  
  
Your mother and father will meet you at your van. Have  
  
a great day!" the nurse said as he began to move out of the  
  
room.  
  
"Make sure you bring back a quality wheelchair! Not one of  
  
those standard issues!" Andrew's older brother insisted as  
  
the nurse left the room.  
  
After the nurse had left, the room was completely silent. After  
  
a few seconds, the Sakyo look-alike gestured toward the chair near   
  
the bed, "May I sit?"  
  
Yusuke nodded.  
  
"I wonder," his visitor began as he sat down, "how you make   
  
sense of me."  
  
"What do you mean?" Yusuke asked rather warily.  
  
"Well, in your dream world, I'm dead, correct?" he asked.  
  
"Well, yeah. You died when you blew up the stadium around  
  
you. A rather showy way to go. You almost took out everyone  
  
else in the same stadium," Yusuke shrugged. "I guess if  
  
you are going go, might as well make some noise."  
  
"And my persona in your dream, I was a shady business.  
  
I was a player on the black market and a rather violent   
  
person, wasn't I?"  
  
Yusuke nodded, "Well, Sakyo was at least. I'm not sure  
  
about you."  
  
"But that is how you see me, isn't it? The same way you  
  
see this Sakyo. As unredeemable."  
  
That statement stopped Yusuke for a moment. "I'm not  
  
sure that Sakyo was unredeemable."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It was just something that Kuwabara said about his  
  
sister, Shizuru. She was acting strangely and she  
  
didn't seem to agree with everyone when we would  
  
talk about how bad Sakyo was. She also seemed a little  
  
sad after the tournament. She never said why."  
  
"Shizuru, that's a new name," Andrew's brother said.   
  
"What did she look like?"  
  
Yusuke shrugged. "She had long brown hair and an   
  
attitude. She was a tough cookie; guess she had to  
  
be to take care of Kuwabara. She also smoked a lot.  
  
But-"  
  
"I don't believe it," Samuel Ikeda said. "Tell me,"  
  
he began as he pulled out his wallet, "did she look  
  
anything like this?" he asked as he handed Yusuke   
  
a picture.  
  
Looking at his visitor in surprise, he took the  
  
picture and looked down at it. At first he didn't   
  
recognize the woman, as he had never seen her look  
  
that happy before. But the woman was Shizuru, minus  
  
the cigarette. "Yes, that's Shizuru."  
  
At this, Andrew's brother snorted. "Well, I don't  
  
believe it. Even in your head, you take Samantha's  
  
side. I really don't completely understand how she  
  
won over my entire family so completely."  
  
"Samantha?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"My ex-fiancée," Samuel confirmed. "She still great  
  
friends with Mother, and she does the family's taxes  
  
now." He just shook his head.  
  
"Maybe," Yusuke paused, as he knew he was about to enter  
  
a dangerous arena, "maybe you should give this Samantha  
  
another chance."  
  
"What?" Samuel asked in surprise.  
  
"I mean, in my screwed up head, she's your only character  
  
reference, right? Look," Yusuke said, "Maybe I saw something,  
  
maybe Andrew saw something in Samantha that would be good  
  
for you."  
  
"Maybe," was all the other man would say.  
  
"Samuel," Yusuke began, "I know you think I'm not quite  
  
well,"  
  
Andrew's older brother only raised an eyebrow at that.  
  
"But, maybe, you can come by occasionally. I mean,  
  
I remember Sakyo; I don't remember Samuel. And I think...  
  
I think I'd like to."  
  
Samuel didn't answer...but he did take Yusuke's hand and   
  
give it a squeeze.  
  
- to be concluded - 


	10. Livinig Decisions

This Side of Living  
  
Living Decisions - conclusion  
  
If he had to describe what happened from this end of it, he  
  
wouldn't be sure that he could do a credible job. The   
  
decision he made was so all-encompassing that it made  
  
understanding what came before very difficult. Besides,  
  
if he reflected on the decision he might question what  
  
the choice meant about him. And, having done enough  
  
mental gymnastics for a lifetime, he didn't want to   
  
have to question anything else for a long, long time.  
  
He had been home for a week and a half. It was the  
  
day before Thanksgiving and he was laying in his room.  
  
To be precise, at that point, he was probably thinking  
  
that he was in Andrew's room, in Andrew's house, preparing  
  
to celebrate a holiday he knew nothing about. Thanksgiving  
  
was very much an American creation. He imagined that  
  
he must have looked very confused when his - Andrew's -  
  
mother tried to explain it to him.  
  
On that Wednesday afternoon, he was laying on his  
  
bed, not quite awake. It had been difficult adjusting  
  
to the new surroundings and to the increased physical  
  
therapy. He could walk around some on his own now, but  
  
he was still really weak, hence the wheelchair in the  
  
corner. He really hated that thing; he wanted to be  
  
able to walk on his own...but walking anywhere around the  
  
house wiped him out. He was still recovering from  
  
walking to the kitchen, the dining room, and then  
  
back to his room without assistance. It annoyed the   
  
hell out of him.  
  
As he was recovering, moving back to awareness, he  
  
opened his eyes and saw...nothing. It was like he  
  
was in a black hole or some kind of void. While  
  
he floated there, he saw two lives flash before his  
  
eyes. One was clearly that of Yusuke Urameshi, complete  
  
with ups, downs, and demons. The other life was  
  
Andrew Ikeda, which had its own ups and downs...and  
  
one demon, sixteen-year-old Andrew and the hateful  
  
things he would shout at his mother about their   
  
racial identity.  
  
After the flashes, two doors appeared before him. In  
  
an odd sort of way, he understood what was going on.  
  
He was being presented with a choice: the life of   
  
Urameshi or the life of Ikeda.  
  
It really wasn't an easy choice, in spite of what  
  
people may have thought. He lost something either  
  
way he went. There were things he liked about the  
  
life of a spirit detective, things he hated about  
  
being a normal biracial teenager, and vice versa.  
  
It didn't even help to realize that part of whatever   
  
life he didn't choose would remain with him, in  
  
"translator mode," i.e. a part of him that would  
  
always understand the other side.  
  
Yet, trying to describe his choice now, it seems like  
  
the only one he could have made...in part because  
  
he thought he could do a better job with this life.  
  
Beating demons and rouge spirit detectives while  
  
trapped in another life was near impossible, but  
  
healing a family and thanking an amazing mother...  
  
that was something he could do.  
  
After he made his choice, it was like his entire  
  
life rushed over him. Some things made sense in  
  
ways they hadn't before; other things still confused  
  
the hell out of him, but for the first time, he  
  
felt in control of his head. It was a relief.  
  
Blinking, he made the decision to go find the family.  
  
He knew that all of the immediate family was home.  
  
As he pulled himself out of bed, he slowly began  
  
to walk out of the room. Sure, he probably could  
  
have called for help with the new intercom system  
  
installed in his room, but he wanted to present  
  
this news to them while standing on his own two  
  
feet.  
  
As he neared the dining room, he finally heard their  
  
voices. To be more specific, he heard Betty shout,  
  
"What are we doing this for?!" following by a   
  
soothing reply from his mother.  
  
As he stood in one of the doorways of the dining room,  
  
he leaned on the doorframe as he watched his family.  
  
Gathered around a table with notepads in their hands,  
  
they all seemed to be hard at work at something. His  
  
mother was the only one standing, probably she had   
  
gotten up to encourage Betty. It was odd to see  
  
everyone with his new eyes. That was probably why  
  
he didn't speak right away.  
  
"Hey y'all," he finally said after a few beats, "anything  
  
I can help with?"  
  
Immediately the heads of everyone in the room turned in  
  
his direction.  
  
"Yusuke," his mother began, "you should have called one  
  
of us if you wanted to company. If you had collapsed in   
  
the house somewhere, it could have been hours before anyone  
  
found you!"  
  
"I'm fine," he assured his mother, "it's just that," he  
  
shook his head. "I never expected that to sound weird."  
  
"What do you mean?" his father asked.  
  
"Being called Yusuke. Do you think," he paused slightly,  
  
"that maybe you could call me Andrew again?"  
  
That request met with silence as everyone stared at him.   
  
That kind of attention, of course, just made him nervous,  
  
which made him angry. "What is everyone staring at?! And  
  
Hasu, close your month already! You're attracting flies."  
  
It was probably his use of an old nickname he had for his  
  
baby brother that started to break the ice. After hearing  
  
it, his baby brother blinked and then smiled. "Yep, that's  
  
Andrew. Idiot boy finally got his head on straight."  
  
He laughed as he turned his attention to his older sister,  
  
"And I'm sure this makes you very happy, Betty, as you will  
  
probably start bossing me around immediately. Although I  
  
barely survived your attempt to turn me into a gentleman for  
  
Keiko."  
  
"Oh, Drew," his Betty said with tears in her eyes as she slowly   
  
began to stand.  
  
"Samuel," he said as he looked at his older brother, "it's  
  
a surprise to see you today."  
  
"It is the day before Thanksgiving," Samuel pointed out.  
  
"Which was always a workday for you before. Well, since  
  
your little brother has gotten his head on straight, you  
  
might want to call Barbara so that reschedule all that stuff  
  
that she moved around for you to deal with me."  
  
"Hm," was all that Samuel said as he reached for his  
  
cell.  
  
"You should probably call Samantha, too."  
  
"I just might," Samuel conceded.  
  
"Samantha? But what-" Betty started to ask.  
  
But his attention was on his parents. They were both happy   
  
that he appeared to remember his life, but his mother still  
  
looked wary. That gun-shy look on her face wasn't a real  
  
surprise. He'd been pretty awful to her over the past few   
  
years. She probably was still wondering where she stood.  
  
Knowing what he had to do, what he wanted to do, he  
  
pushed away from the doorframe and walked into the  
  
room. It was a pretty steady walk, a testament to  
  
the therapy from hell. As he reached his mother, he  
  
hugged her and said, "I love you, Mom."  
  
She was frozen in shock for just a second; then she  
  
wrapped her arms around him and put her head on top  
  
of his. She didn't say anything for awhile, just   
  
held him. After a few seconds, he felt something  
  
wet hit his shoulder. "Mom, are you crying?" he  
  
asked.  
  
"No," she managed to get out around a happy sob.  
  
He heard his father said, "Thank God, I really have  
  
my family back," before he felt him hug him and his  
  
mother.  
  
"I see a group hug coming on," Betty said as she joined  
  
the hug. Obviously his brothers were hanging back  
  
because Betty said, "Come on you two! Get over  
  
here. Move it, Hasukawa. NOW!"  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Hasukawa groused, but   
  
Andrew thought his voice sounded a little watery.  
  
"You too, Samuel," Betty said. "You are a part of  
  
this family, too, old head."  
  
"I am at that," Samuel agreed as he joined the hug.  
  
And in that moment, he knew he had made the right  
  
choice. For all of the aches and pains, battles and   
  
loses in his life, he had been given a gift. The gift  
  
of love, the gift of family. And, as he stood, overheating  
  
in a six person group hug, he knew he was one of   
  
the luckiest people alive.  
  
- the end - 


	11. Living with the end concluding author's...

This Side of Living  
  
Concluding Author's Notes  
  
It's finished!!! It is really finished. I am amazed and happy  
  
that I've been able to tell this story and I appreciate all of  
  
you that have come along for the ride. While there will  
  
probably be some edits in the near future (everytime I re-read  
  
it I see some gross error somewhere), the actual story is over.  
  
This has been a first for me on a variety of levels. This  
  
is my first YYH fic (although I'm am in the middle of a crossover  
  
that uses part of the YYH universe). It's the first story that  
  
I've really finished; it doesn't need a sequel to explain   
  
anything, unlike another "finished" story of mine. And, it  
  
was the first time that I had ever attempted to write an idea  
  
that was this different.  
  
This is also the first time that I didn't load the story  
  
with author's notes...which is hard for someone as long-winded  
  
as I am. It was almost like writing in a different style.  
  
But, through it all, I had a lot of fun. And I do appreciate  
  
all of the reactions to the story.  
  
One thing that all the reaction made bring about is a sequel.  
  
One review had me thinking, "well, what if...?" If that   
  
sequel happens, it won't happen for awhile. I need to get  
  
back to all of the real life work (and unfinished fan fics)  
  
in my life.  
  
Thanks again for sharing this journey with me. I appreciate  
  
the support.  
  
December 


End file.
